Hollywood Jokes

Why did Judge Reinhold get arrested in Dallas?

Because he can't even get arrested in Hollywood.

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Why does Hollywood loveee to hire British Actors?

Cheap labor.

What's a Chinese fisherman's least favorite part of living in Hollywood?

Pilot season

Which director is Hollywood's darling?

Michael Bae

What type of wood is the most expensive?

Hollywood! (Made this up while i was doing a project.)

Which Hollywood actress has made sure all sci-fi movies like alien; ghostbusters; avatar & chappie are "woven" together?

Sigourney "Weaver"

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

Why is Hollywood full of vampires?

They need someone to play the bit parts.

How Do they say "F**k You" in Hollywood?

Trust Me...

Why does Kevin Bacon not get more leading roles in Hollywood?

Because it's not kosher. http://36.media.tumblr.com/cb0ad7dd38767e0fc2363665afdb5cdd/tumblrinlinentae7hsEL21tw80r81280.jpg

Why don't Hollywood talent agents drink chocolate milk?

Because it's not about who you know, but no Yoo-hoo.

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Why the hell are Zach Braff, Zach Galifianakis & Zac Efron not running around Hollywood as the "Zach Pack"?

This needs to happen.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why was the volleyball player drunk at a game?

Because he spiked his drink

What does Batman get in his drink?

Just Ice

Ape Jokes More Ape Jokes

What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

Why do Apes love to go to school in bad neighbourhoods?

They like any jungle - even a blackboard jungle!

Dallas Jokes More Dallas Jokes

What Do you call 20 Millionaires watching the Superbowl?

The Dallas Cowboys

What's the difference between a cry baby and Dallas Cowboys fans?

Eventually the baby stops crying

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What's the difference between garbanzo beans an chickpeas?

I don't have to play $50 for a garbanzo bean in my face.

What is the definition of a minor 2nd chord?

Two flutists playing in unison.

Weave Jokes More Weave Jokes

Which Hollywood actress has made sure all sci-fi movies like alien; ghostbusters; avatar & chappie are "woven" together?

Sigourney "Weaver"

What did 50 cent's grandma say to him when he gave her a hand woven scarf for Mother's Day?

G u knit

Appear Jokes More Appear Jokes

How much for the supermodel?

Winks seductively "Ma'am, that's a mirror and you appear to be having a stroke."

How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

Why was Karl Marx against Chinese mutes?

Because he hated the B shu!

Why can't two Chinese people make a white baby?

Because two Wongs don't make a white

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

Whats a pirates favourite kind of wood??

Seeder

How does a crazy person get out of the woods?

They take the psychopath.