Hollywood Jokes

Why did Judge Reinhold get arrested in Dallas?

Because he can't even get arrested in Hollywood.

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Which director is Hollywood's darling?

Michael Bae

What type of wood is the most expensive?

Hollywood! (Made this up while i was doing a project.)

Which Hollywood actress has made sure all sci-fi movies like alien; ghostbusters; Avatar & chappie are "woven" together?

Sigourney "Weaver"

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

Why does Kevin Bacon not get more leading roles in Hollywood?

Because it's not kosher. http://36.media.tumblr.com/cb0ad7dd38767e0fc2363665afdb5cdd/tumblrinlinentae7hsEL21tw80r81280.jpg

Why don't Hollywood talent agents drink chocolate milk?

Because it's not about who you know, but no Yoo-hoo.

Why the hell are Zach Braff, Zach Galifianakis & Zac Efron not running around Hollywood as the "Zach Pack"?

This needs to happen.

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Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Which Star Wars character was arrested for drunk driving?

Han Solo. Because he took a shot first.

Why did the sheriff arrest the tree?

Because its leaves rustled.

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

What kind of amphibian is hired to take your car away?

Toad. Thanks, HammerElectionBeans for the edit.

How do you hire an elephant?

Stand it on four bricks!

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why type of lightning likes to play sports?

Ball lightning

Why does Bob Seger always laugh when he plays chess?

He thinks it's funny how the Knight moves.

Refuse Jokes More Refuse Jokes

Why did he refuse help?

He was in The Nile

What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?

Udder chaos!

Zoo Jokes More Zoo Jokes

What do you get if you insert human DNA into a chimpanzee?

A. Banned from the Zoo.

What do animals read in zoos?

Gnus papers.

Ape Jokes More Ape Jokes

Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?

Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!

What do you call an Ape cooking a BBQ?

A Gorilla

Kevin Bacon Jokes More Kevin Bacon Jokes

Why does Kevin Bacon not get more leading roles in Hollywood?

Because it's not kosher. http://36.media.tumblr.com/cb0ad7dd38767e0fc2363665afdb5cdd/tumblrinlinentae7hsEL21tw80r81280.jpg

What did Hannibal Lector have for breakfast?

Kevin Bacon.... And Jon Hamm.

Dallas Jokes More Dallas Jokes

What's the safest place in Dallas during a tornado?

The Cowboys stadium, the only place there'll never be a touchdown

What do the Dallas Cowboys do when they win the Superbowl?

Turn off their Nintendo and go to bed.