Contract Jokes

How do blind people sign contracts?

On the dotted line.

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Why do the lawyers for the reindeer say they have to pull Santa's sled?

Because they have a claus in their contract.

What deadly disease can bowls contract?

Ebowla

Why shouldn't you enter into a contract with Wolverine?

Because of his retractable clause.

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

The clap.

What do you call an actor from Alabama that is forced by contract to play a certain character in a production?

Role tied.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What's the easiest way to pay a musician?

Open the door, hand him the cash and take the pizza

Which playing card can turn its hand to everything?

Jack of all Spades

Favorite Food Jokes More Favorite Food Jokes

What's a astronauts favorite food?

Lays, because they are full of air.

What is Vladimir Putins favorite food?

Peaches and Krim

Dot Line Jokes More Dot Line Jokes

Where does Daredevil sign contracts?

On the dotted line. *Revised from an earlier attempt.

How do blind people sign contracts?

On the dotted line.

Deadly Disease Jokes More Deadly Disease Jokes

What deadly disease can bowls contract?

Ebowla

Why didn't the doctor use Twitter to tell the patient that he had a deadly disease?

Because the condition was untweetable.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

How does a lawyer sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Credit: Nicholas Sparks from his book 'See Me' which I am reading now.

What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

Sle Jokes More Sle Jokes

Why do the lawyers for the reindeer say they have to pull Santa's sled?

Because they have a claus in their contract.

When I was kid, and we'd go sledding on a cold snowy day, Ya know how often I had to rub my hands together to stay warm?

Intermittenly.

Reindeer Jokes More Reindeer Jokes

What street in France do reindeer live on?

Rue Dolph

What game do reindeer play in their stalls?

Stable-tennis!

Cagey Jokes More Cagey Jokes

Why is it so hard to get to know Guantanamo Bay detainees?

Because they're too cagey.

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!