Why didn't the doctor use Twitter to tell the patient that he had a deadly disease?

Because the condition was untweetable.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do bad writers use to pick up hot pans?

Plot Holders.

What pronouns do you use to address a chocolate bar?

Her/she

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why do people procrastinate?

I'll tell you later.

What does a lion at the beach have in common with Christmas?

They both have Sandy Claws.

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

How is Twitter like Game of Thrones?

There's 140 characters, and they are all terrible.

What do Twitter users and regular humans have in common?

Both start off as eggs.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why was the doctor forced to leave work early?

The hospital ran all out of patience

Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

What animal do psychiatrists bring in to mental hospitals to help patients with social anxiety?

Squirrels they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.

What did the doctor say to the speeding commuter?

Thank you for your patients.

Deadly Disease Jokes More Deadly Disease Jokes

Why didn't the doctor use Twitter to tell the patient that he had a deadly disease?

Because the condition was untweetable.

What deadly disease can bowls contract?

Ebowla

Condition Jokes More Condition Jokes

Why did Prince William lose his cool?

He wasn't properly heir conditioned.

Why is it never hot in churches?

Because it's prayer conditioned. I'll leave now....