Twitter Jokes

Why doesn't Pac-Man use Twitter?

Because he doesn't like being followed.

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What do Twitter users and lollipops have in common?

They're mostly Dum Dums.

What do Twitter users and regular humans have in common?

Both start off as eggs.

What is the difference between Game of Thrones and Twitter?

With Twitter you only get 140 characters.

What's the different between Twitter and Game of Thrones?

Twitter has a character limit

Why didn't the doctor use Twitter to tell the patient that he had a deadly disease?

Because the condition was untweetable.

Why was Game of Thrones banned from twitter?

Because twitter has an 140 character limit.

Whats the difference between Game of Thrones and Twitter?

Twitter only allows 160 characters

What's the difference between Twitter and Game of Thrones?

Twitter only allows 140 characters.

Why don't Game of Thrones characters tweet with Twitter?

They were ravin' with Raven.

Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

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What did I do before Twitter?

Well, there's my family and......OH MY GOD WHERE'S MY FAMILY!!

How is Twitter like Game of Thrones?

There's 140 characters, and they are all terrible.

Why is George R.R. Martin really bad at using Twitter?

There's a limit to how many characters you are allowed to waste.

Why are Twitter jokes not as funny when you read them aloud to a friend?

It's not like they had to be there...

Why does Brendon Rodgers hate Twitter?

It only allows 140 characters

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

What climate scientist does Disney follow on twitter?

The rogue one

Why did voldermort used Twitter instead of Facebook?

Because he only had followers. Not friends.

What's the difference between a Twitter post and a Russian Novel?

A Twitter post is limited to 140 characters

How do Baroque composers tweet?

Through their twitter Handel!..... I am so sorry

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Twitter only allows 140 characters.

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A Twitter post is limited to 140 characters

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With Twitter you only get 140 characters.

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Where do Crows hang out on Friday night?

The crow bar.

Where do monkeys hang out?

At the monkey bars.

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Where do you see yourself in 10 yrs time?

Same as now - in photos and mirrors," I replied

When she got in front of the judge he asked, "first offender?

She replied, "No. First a Gibson, second a Fender."

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What did Pac-Man say when he almost got run over?

I'm Waka-Waka-Waka-Walking here!

What do you call the version of google maps without pac man?

Pac Man-free Ver.

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What do Twitter users and regular humans have in common?

Both start off as eggs.

What do Twitter users and lollipops have in common?

They're mostly Dum Dums.

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

Why did the doctor make an old woman cry?

He lost his patients

Why is a doctor always calm?

He got a lot of patients