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Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do you call a midget fortune teller, who is wanted by the law?

A Small Medium at Large

What do vegetarian zombies want?

Graaaaiiiiinss!

Join Jokes More Join Jokes

Why did the acronym buff decide to go join the etymologists instead?

He heard they had PIE.

What do you call a cat who's joined the Red Cross?

A first-aid kit!

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why does 8 hate 7?

Because 7 8 9

Why do cannibals hate Pentecostals?

Because they're always throwing up their hands.

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

Why did the family not laugh at the Obstetrician's joke?

Because he screwed up the delivery...

Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

What is twitter?

3. Twitter is beautiful. 4. What is life

Why don't Game of Thrones characters tweet with Twitter?

They were ravin' with Raven.

Branch Jokes More Branch Jokes

Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

What bank do birds open accounts with?

The one with the most branches!

Coworker Jokes More Coworker Jokes

Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

How does a boat captain determine his profit?

By using aquadratic equation. (Via my coworker)