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Why did the girl take a ruler to bed?

She wanted to see how long she slept.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why did the Italian wear handcuffs to bed?

So he wouldn't talk in his sleep

What's my type?

Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I'm describing my bed again.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did Oliver Twist say at the slave auction?

Please sir, I want some moors.

Why were you speeding?

Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on "America's Most Wanted."

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why are people who suffers from insomnia so excited at the moment?

They only have to sleep 3 more times until Christmas

What does the hippie bum say when you tell him he can no longer sleep on your couch?

Namaste

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why do girls always get mad when I try to read their shirts?

It's not my fault I'm blind.

How do you know when a guy is really in love with his girlfriend?

When he starts using condoms with other girls.

Ruler Jokes More Ruler Jokes

What did the ruler gain a reputation for while campaigning?

Straight talk.

What is the most noble office supply?

The ruler!