What do you call someone who spends the whole time on their phone whenever you hang out?

A phoney friend!

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Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What did the hat say to the tie?

You hang around. I'll go on a head.

What do you call someone who spends the whole time on their phone whenever you hang out?

A phoney friend!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How do you know when it's time to get a new dishwasher?

When the old one expects you to "do your share"

What do two people with Parkinson's disease do when they meet for the first time?

They shake hands.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What does a successful CS:GO bettor spend the money on?

Vacation.

What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son?

James Bonding bah dun tss

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

How can you tell if someone who's having a temper tantrum is on the phone?

You get a tizzy signal!

How does Beyonce answer the phone?

HALO HALO HALO!* - inspired from the Superbowl XLV11 Half-Time show