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How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

He proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the problem?

Wife: He makes friends with the strangest things Me petting a bee: You're not strange are you Alan

What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

My girlfriend knows about my wife.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

When do cows go to sleep?

Pasture bedtime.

How does a woman know she's sleeping with a forklift driver?

He beeps twice before coming through the flaps.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones?

I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones

How would you handle a complaint from a customer?

Applicant: Well that depends, what's the complaint? Interviewer: He's complaining that his burger had onions on it, even though he specifically asked they were to be removed. Applicant: Well I'd start by telling him he's in the retail section.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why is there no "Lets settle this like women"?

Because it lasts forever.

What does a chauvinistic doctor use as a general term for women with high cholesterol?

A Broad Stroke...

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What type of wife always knows where her husband is?

A widow

Whats the difference between a house cat and a polecat?

How much their husbands make

Darling Jokes More Darling Jokes

How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

What happened when a man fell in love with a grand piano?

He said "Darling you've got lovely teeth."

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

How much will that be?

Asks the neutron. "For you " replies the bartender, "no charge."

What exactly is going on?

I asked. He replied, "A Major engineering feet."