What does a guy want more than anything in the world?

It doesn't matter. He has to ask his wife first.

Previous Random Joke Next
Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the kid with muscular dystrophy want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and a NASCAR driver when he grew up?

He had a lot of aspirations.

How much is a gram?

Me- "Depends on what you want" Teacher- "Out, just get out"

World Jokes More World Jokes

What do you call the secret Eskimo organization that controls the world?

The Igloominati.

What's the difference between a man who owns a gun and a man who owns a bank?

A man with a gun can rob a bank. A man with a bank can rob the world. (Disclaimer: reword of someone else's post to FB today.)

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you get when you play country music backwards?

You get your job back, you get your wife back and you get your tractor back.

What're you doing in the garage?

ME: I made a cloning machine. WIFE: Don't do anything stupid. OTHER ME: Like what

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you get if you mix up together an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?

A guy who is up all night wondering if there is a dog.

How do you know if a guy has an Asian wife?

He'll tell you.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?

He was already taking out a tooth

What laxative did the constipated man ask for?

Poop-ease

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

What's a necrophiliacs favorite drink?

Doesn't matter, so long as it's stiff.

How many "friend zone" guys does it take to put in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter how many. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw. Edit: Credits to Drougen for making it better.