What did the guy who got fired for always being late say?

It was just a matter of time.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

Tennish

What do a burnt pizza, frozen beer, and a pregnant girl have in common?

Someone didn't pull it out in time.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did the blond get fired from the M&ampM factory?

Because she kept throwing out all the W's

What do you call a person who fights fire?

Firefighter.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Where does a guy from Arkansas go to pick up girls?

Family reunions.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, who hangs out in your pool?

Bob

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

Why are they using two ply toilet paper in Russia?

Because authorities want a carbon copy of all matters.

How many jail guards does it take to change a light bulb?

Why does it matter Everyone knows the prison system can't change anything.