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What do nuclear physicists do when they have time off?

They go fission.

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What did the busy port master say to the rowdy pirates who wanted to dock?

I don't have time for your ship.

How do you know if someone has a Samsung phone without asking?

Don't worry, they've already told you the superior qualities it has over all the other smart phones by this time.

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What is a Nuclear Physicist's favourite meal?

Fission chips.

What is a Nuclear Physicist's favorite Genesis song?

Land of Cold-Fusion".