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How did Pinocchio find out that he was made out of wood?

His hand caught fire.

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How'd you find out?

G:"I'm on both."

Why couldn't the Duke of Esterhazy find his music composer?

Because he was Haydn.

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What did Tom Hanks do in the woods?

He took a forrest dump.

How does a crazy person get out of the woods?

They take the psychopath.

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Why did the worker get fired from the hp computer factory?

He threw out all the computers with "dy" on them.

Why does the speech impaired baker say he got fired?

He took one too many whisks.

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Why was the cannibal fined by the judge?

He was caught poaching.

What did one tomato say to the other?

Catch up.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What's this?

Me: A napkin holder K: What's a napkin M: You wipe your hands on it when they're dirty K: You mean like the couch M: ...

What do you call a tree that you can fit in your hand?

A PALM TREE!!!

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Why did all the other toys throw RaggedyAnn out of the toy box?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me, lie to me!"

When did Pinocchio learn he was made of wood?

When his hand caught fire!!