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How was my engagement the same as my divorce?

In the end, I settled.

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End Jokes More End Jokes

What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?

Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.

Which end of a bus is it best to get off?

It doesn't matter. Both ends stop.

Settle Jokes More Settle Jokes

Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes?

In a pellet court!

Why was Herbert Hoover such a controversial president?

Because he never let the dust settle.

Divorce Jokes More Divorce Jokes

When did your parents divorce?

ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed.

What do you want for your birthday this year?

Vanessa: I want a divorce! Kobe: I wasn't planning on spending that much this year. Here's another ring.