How was my engagement the same as my divorce?

In the end, I settled.

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End Jokes More End Jokes

When someone asks "You know what I think?

I say "Yes I do". End of discussion.

Why is a burning candle like being thirsty?

Beacause a little water ends both of them!

Settle Jokes More Settle Jokes

How was my engagement the same as my divorce?

In the end, I settled.

Why was Herbert Hoover such a controversial president?

Because he never let the dust settle.

Divorce Jokes More Divorce Jokes

What did the coffee shop owner's wife say when she discovered he wasn't using Free Trade beans?

That's grounds for divorce!

Why did the marriage between the crab and the shrimp end in a divorce?

Because they were both too Shellfish.