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How are you feeling Grandpa?

Grandpa: Oh you know with my hands mostly.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How much does wonton soup weigh?

One ton, but I don't know anyone that'd wantonly order it.

How do you know if a guy has an Asian wife?

He'll tell you.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What did the monster say to his psychiatrist?

I feel abominable.'

When are you going to learn to drive?

I don't think they feel very safe in my taxi.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you have if you have one fuzzy, green ball in one hand and another fuzzy, green ball in the other hand?

Kermit the Frog's undivided attention.

What do you get when you stick your hand in a blender?

A handshake

Grandpa Jokes More Grandpa Jokes

Why are you calling me Grandpa?

Because I couldn't find it yesterday.

What do you call parents who teach abstinence only?

Grandma and grandpa.