Why did the calendar give up on life?

Because he felt his days were numbered.

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Life Jokes More Life Jokes

How is life at the post office going?

It's going well I guess. It has its usps and it's downs. Edited for correctness

What is love? The energy of life. What is marriage?

The energy bill...

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

When do Arabs return their library books?

The day they're Dubai.

Why did Peter Parker get fired?

He spent all day on the web.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What do windows feel when they get hurt?

Pane!

How does a coffee pot feel when it is hot?

Perky.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?

Only once, and then you are subtracting it from 20.

How do you change the number of sides on a Pentagon?

Intersect it with a plane.

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

How is it May already?

Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.

Why was the calendar nervous?

It's days were numbered!