Why did the calendar give up on life?

Because he felt his days were numbered.

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Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why is there no life on Mars?

No WiFi...

Why do Butchers don't risk it all in life?

Because the Steaks are too high.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Who can shave 25 times in one day, and still have a beard?

A barber!

Why was the calendar depressed?

His days were numbered.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How long have you felt like this?

Ever since I was a puppy!

Why did the cookie cry?

It was feeling crumby.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

Why accountants don't read novels?

Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.

Why do most movie sequels stink?

Because movie makers are basically doing a number 2.

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

How is it May already?

Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has a future...