Why did the calendar give up on life?

Because he felt his days were numbered.

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Life Jokes More Life Jokes

What did 'b' say to his friend 'e' after 'e' saved his life?

AY E! I O U edit: added Y

Why are hipsters the oldest known form of life?

They were on the Earth before it was cool.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do you call something that's impossible due to physics?

Physics-ly impossible. There's your dad joke for the day.

Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus?

At the end of the day I'm just a guy in a bikini on the bus.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How are you feeling?

The thermometer responded, "0K."

What did the picture say to the Judge?

I WAS FRAMED! I just now made that up. I feel good about this one! Skip

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

Why is Bill Gates scared of the number 7?

Because 7 8 10.

What the hell?

Why are you skipping numbers girl 1: Because I can't even!!!

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

What's the difference between the calendar and you?

A calendar has a date on Valentine's Day.

Why was the calendar nervous?

It's days were numbered!