Why did the calendar die?

It's days were numbered.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What is the American national day for vampires?

Fangsgiving Day.

What did the Momma buffalo say to the baby buffalo on his first day of school?

Bye Son (Bison)

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What happens when a stormtrooper and a redshirt get in a fight?

The stormtrooper misses every shot, but the red shirt still dies.

What happens to lawyers after they die?

They lie still.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

How many cops does it take the screw in a lightbulb?

The same number it takes to screw public confidence in law enforcement

What's the number for Baltimore chiropractic services?

9-1-2001

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

What did the Calendar say to the Wall-clock the moment it became June 1st?

I am dismayed!

Why was the calendar depressed?

His days were numbered.