Why did the calendar die?

It's days were numbered.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Whats baked every day and sells itself?

My sister.

Why are fire trucks red?

You would be too if someone was pulling on your hose all day.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What do lawyers do after they die?

They lie still.

Why do police officers keep water in the automobile trunk?

Because they don't want the siren to die.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb?

Hmmm........I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you

What's the current number one song in Russia?

Crimea river

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

Why was the calendar depressed?

His days were numbered.

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has a future...