Why was the calendar nervous?

It's days were numbered!

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How is Jesus different from other carpenters?

Unlike other carpenters, Jesus may actually return one day

What did the dad buffalo say to his son on the first day of school?

Bison

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: "Guess who?

For 2 weeks.

What did the number 1 say to (pi)?

Let's get rational you can't carry on like this!

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

How is it May already?

Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.

Whats the difference between me and a calendar?

A calendar has dates.