How is it May already?

Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why isn't Kanye West allowed in rural Pennsylvania?

An Amish with a tool, you know that's unheard of.

What do you get when you cross a canyon with a horse?

I don't know nobody has ever made it across.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

How's your homophone needlepoint project coming along?

Sew sew

What is the worst way to find out you just came into money?

Via sticky notes

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How does Jack Frost get to work?

By icicles

What do you call a fish who works for the government?

An Official.

Tomorrow Jokes More Tomorrow Jokes

Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!

What do you say to a lady that has to make 100 shirts by tomorrow?

You seamstressed

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

Why was the calendar nervous?

It's days were numbered!

Whats the difference between me and a calendar?

A calendar has dates.

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

How do you guys tweet from the toilet?

I poop with both hands.

How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?

Now, I tweet them