What's the difference between the calendar and you?

A calendar has a date on Valentine's Day.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?

A. You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.

What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion?

You cry when you cut up an onion.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

Why did the raisin take the prune to the New Year's ball?

Because he couldn't find a date!

Why couldn't the woman date a German man?

Because she was Klaustrophobic!

Valentine Day Jokes More Valentine Day Jokes

What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day?

Cauliflowers!

What did the French chef give his wife on Valentine's Day?

A hug and a little quiche.

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

How is it May already?

Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.

What did the Calendar say to the Wall-clock the moment it became June 1st?

I am dismayed!

Valentine Jokes More Valentine Jokes

What celestial body do you give your sweetie on Valentine's Day?

An exoplanet.

How to Skrillex sign his Valentine's Day cards?

I wub wub wub you....