Whats the difference between me and a calendar?

A calendar has dates.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a TV and a newspaper?

Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?

Whats the difference between a White lie and a Black lie?

Half to none of the time.

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats a zombie's favorite drink?

Egg noggin.

What do you call a cow thats had a hysterectomy?

Decaffeinated.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

What's the best thing about dating twenty nine year olds?

The get all you '90s references.

Why won't a woman sleep with you after a date at Burger King?

Because you have to court her before you pound her.

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

How is it May already?

Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.

Why did the man tear a page out of the calendar?

He wanted to take a month off.