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Valentine Day Jokes

Where did I take my pet Cow on Valentines Day?

To the Moooovies

Love

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Love

What do single people call Valentine's Day?

Independence Day

What did the French chef give his wife on Valentine's Day?

A hug and a little quiche.

What's the difference between the calendar and you?

A calendar has a date on Valentine's Day.

How do single people honor Valentine's Day?

By Celibating!

Who sends flowers on Valentines Day?

Cupigs!

Why is Valentine's Day the best day for a celebration?

Because you can really party hearty!

What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's Day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?

I'm stuck on you!

What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?

Let me call you Tweet heart!

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!

We've Got This Love Thing Down

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We've Got This Love Thing Down

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Hog and kisses!

How can you celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in God?

I responded with, "How can you celebrate Valentine's Day if nobody loves you "

What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?

Forget-me-nuts.

What's your emer- She said don't get her anything for Valentine's Day! 911: And you didn't?

No! 911: Placing you in protective custody.

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?

Ughs and kisses!

What did the runaway melon say to the honeydew on Valentine's Day?

I cantaloupe.

What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day?

You're purrr-fect for me!

What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day?

Cauliflowers!

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Exoplanet Jokes More Exoplanet Jokes

What celestial body do you give your sweetie on Valentine's Day?

An exoplanet.

What do you get when astronomers play tic-tac-toe?

Exoplanets Thought that one up myself.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How do you spot a bad boss your first day on the job?

Check his/her pulse. (bitter at the workplace)

How was your day?

And he goes: " rrrrRough "

French Chef Jokes More French Chef Jokes

What did the French chef give his wife on Valentine's Day?

A hug and a little quiche.

Why was the French chef sent to prison?

He was convicted of crepe.

Cupid Stunt Jokes More Cupid Stunt Jokes

Cupid Jokes More Cupid Jokes

French Jokes More French Jokes

What do the French learn in basic training?

How to surrender in twenty-seven different languages.

Why did the French Hen give up her job?

One day she'd just had un uf.

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

What's the difference between the calendar and you?

A calendar has a date on Valentine's Day.

What did the Calendar say to the Wall-clock the moment it became June 1st?

I am dismayed!

Whitney Houston Jokes More Whitney Houston Jokes

What's the difference between Whitney Houston and Houston, TX?

Houston, TX will once again reach 98 degrees.

What is Whitney Houston's favorite kind of coordination?

Hand EYEEEEEIIIEEE.....