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Valentine Day Jokes

Where did I take my pet Cow on Valentines Day?

To the Moooovies

I Love Pizza & You

I Love Pizza & You

What do single people call Valentine's Day?

Independence Day

What did the French chef give his wife on Valentine's Day?

A hug and a little quiche.

What's the difference between the calendar and you?

A calendar has a date on Valentine's Day.

How do single people honor Valentine's Day?

By Celibating!

Who sends flowers on Valentines Day?

Cupigs!

Why is Valentine's Day the best day for a celebration?

Because you can really party hearty!

What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's Day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?

I'm stuck on you!

What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?

Let me call you Tweet heart!

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Hog and kisses!

How can you celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in God?

I responded with, "How can you celebrate Valentine's Day if nobody loves you "

What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?

Forget-me-nuts.

What's your emer- She said don't get her anything for Valentine's Day! 911: And you didn't?

No! 911: Placing you in protective custody.

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?

Ughs and kisses!

What did the runaway melon say to the honeydew on Valentine's Day?

I cantaloupe.

What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day?

You're purrr-fect for me!

What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day?

Cauliflowers!

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French Jokes More French Jokes

Whats the new French flag look like?

A white cross emblazoned on a white background!

What's the difference between a slice of toast and the French?

You can make soldiers out of a slice of toast.

Flower Jokes More Flower Jokes

What kind of flower grows on your face?

Tulips.

What do you call it when you accidentally drop a flower?

An oopsy daisy.

Single People Jokes More Single People Jokes

Why do single people take dating advice from other single people?

That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions.

What do single people call Valentine's Day?

Independence Day

Whitney Houston Jokes More Whitney Houston Jokes

What do Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both spent a fortune making their noses more white.

What's Whitney Houston's favorite car?

Hyuuuuuuundaaaaaiiiieeeiiii

Radical Feminist Jokes More Radical Feminist Jokes

What's the difference between a shopping cart and a radical feminist?

A shopping cart will, on occasion, exhibit a mind of it's own

What is the difference between a default subreddit mod and a radical feminist?

Nothing.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

When I was young, I wanted to date a doctor for money. How superficial was that?

Now it would be for the prescriptions.

What's the best part of dating 29 year olds?

There's 20 of them. (More funny out loud)

Hug Jokes More Hug Jokes

What rhymes with "hug me"?

Chutney.

What if sharks hug with their mouths?

Just sayin.

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

What did the Calendar say to the Wall-clock the moment it became June 1st?

I am dismayed!

What's the difference between the calendar and you?

A calendar has a date on Valentine's Day.