Valentine Day Jokes

Where did I take my pet Cow on Valentines Day?

To the Moooovies

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What do single people call Valentine's Day?

Independence Day

What did the French chef give his wife on Valentine's Day?

A hug and a little quiche.

What's the difference between the calendar and you?

A calendar has a date on Valentine's Day.

How do single people honor Valentine's Day?

By Celibating!

Who sends flowers on Valentines Day?

Cupigs!

Why is Valentine's Day the best day for a celebration?

Because you can really party hearty!

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?

I'm stuck on you!

What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?

Let me call you Tweet heart!

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Hog and kisses!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

How can you celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in God?

I responded with, "How can you celebrate Valentine's Day if nobody loves you "

What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?

Forget-me-nuts.

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?

Ughs and kisses!

What did the runaway melon say to the honeydew on Valentine's Day?

I cantaloupe.

What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day?

You're purrr-fect for me!

What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day?

Cauliflowers!

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a terrorist camp and a school?

No idea man, im just flying the drone.

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scottish sheep farmer?

One says, 'Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!' The other says 'Hey! MacLeod! Get off of my ewe.'

Sign Jokes More Sign Jokes

Why are you Late Today?

Teacher: Why are you Late Today? Student: Because of sign down the road. Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late? Student: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"

What two places can you find a California roll?

Sushi bars and stop signs.

Valentine Jokes More Valentine Jokes

Why do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?

Because they are very scentimental.

Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?

Because you always heart the one you love.

Hug Jokes More Hug Jokes

How many professional soccer players does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to change the bulb, and five to hug and kiss him.

What's big and purple and hugs your Easter basket?

The Easter Barney!

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What's yellow has wheels and lies on its back?

A dead school bus!

What lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes?

A nervous wreck.

Cupid Stunt Jokes More Cupid Stunt Jokes

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

Why are you all so excited it's Friday?

Monday will be here in 5 minutes.

What's the worst thing about Fridays?

Realizing it's only Tuesday.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

Whats the difference between me and a calendar?

A calendar has dates.

What do you call 2 lambs dating?

A relationSHEEP.