Valentine Day Jokes

Where did I take my pet Cow on Valentines Day?

To the Moooovies

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What do single people call Valentine's Day?

Independence Day

What did the French chef give his wife on Valentine's Day?

A hug and a little quiche.

What's the difference between the calendar and you?

A calendar has a date on Valentine's Day.

How do single people honor Valentine's Day?

By Celibating!

Who sends flowers on Valentines Day?

Cupigs!

Why is Valentine's Day the best day for a celebration?

Because you can really party hearty!

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?

I'm stuck on you!

What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?

Let me call you Tweet heart!

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Hog and kisses!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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How can you celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in God?

I responded with, "How can you celebrate Valentine's Day if nobody loves you "

What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?

Forget-me-nuts.

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?

Ughs and kisses!

What did the runaway melon say to the honeydew on Valentine's Day?

I cantaloupe.

What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day?

You're purrr-fect for me!

What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day?

Cauliflowers!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you call a person whose wife was the Queen, daughter is a Princess and his boss is the Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

What did the Cannibal get for dinner after offending his wife?

The cold shoulder.

Sign Jokes More Sign Jokes

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

Why are you late Joseph?

Joseph: Because of a sign down the road. Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late Joseph: The sign said "School Ahead Go Slow!"

French Jokes More French Jokes

How does a French alcoholic greet someone?

Enchantr.

What do French fries and friends have in common?

They both die if you chop them

Party Jokes More Party Jokes

How many extroverts does it take to change a lightbulb?

Let's throw a party while we're at it.

What happens when you don't serve drinks at a party?

There's no punch line.

Hug Jokes More Hug Jokes

How many professional soccer players does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to change the bulb, and five to hug and kiss him.

What rhymes with "hug me"?

Chutney.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde?

You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball!

What's the difference between a Bald Eagle and an American?

The Bald Eagle is free c:

Flower Jokes More Flower Jokes

Why do sailors give their wives a bouqet of ropes instead of flowers?

It's a bouqet of forget-me-knots.

How do Ethiopians celebrate their kids first birthday?

By putting flowers on the grave.

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

Why does Shakira have such a hard time sleeping at night?

Because her hips won't lie.

Why are girls so hot?

Because they lay out in the sun so much