Valentine Day Jokes

Where did I take my pet Cow on Valentines Day?

To the Moooovies

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What do single people call Valentine's Day?

Independence Day

What did the French chef give his wife on Valentine's Day?

A hug and a little quiche.

What's the difference between the calendar and you?

A calendar has a date on Valentine's Day.

How do single people honor Valentine's Day?

By Celibating!

Who sends flowers on Valentines Day?

Cupigs!

Why is Valentine's Day the best day for a celebration?

Because you can really party hearty!

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?

I'm stuck on you!

What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?

Let me call you Tweet heart!

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Hog and kisses!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

How can you celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in God?

I responded with, "How can you celebrate Valentine's Day if nobody loves you "

What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?

Forget-me-nuts.

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?

Ughs and kisses!

What did the runaway melon say to the honeydew on Valentine's Day?

I cantaloupe.

What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day?

You're purrr-fect for me!

What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day?

Cauliflowers!

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Whitney Houston Jokes More Whitney Houston Jokes

What was Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?

HAND EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYE.

What's Whitney Houston's favourite type of co-ordination?

HAND EYEEEEE..........

Sign Jokes More Sign Jokes

What do you call an expert that studies sign language?

A signtist!

What instrument did the famous dog use to sign his autographs?

A Shar-Pei

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

Why should you never date an atom?

The split is gonna be explosive

What's the dating scene like at MIT?

Carbon-14 is the most common method, I believe.

Valentine Jokes More Valentine Jokes

Why do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?

Because they are very scentimental.

Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?

Because you always heart the one you love.

Single People Jokes More Single People Jokes

How do single people honor Valentine's Day?

By Celibating!

What do single people call Valentine's Day?

Independence Day

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

Why are girls so hot?

Because they lay out in the sun so much

Why did Raggedy Anne get kicked out of the toybox?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming "Lie to me! Lie to me!!!"

Radical Feminist Jokes More Radical Feminist Jokes

What's the difference between a gun and a radical feminist?

A gun only has one trigger.

How many radical feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

That's not funny.

Valentine Day Card Jokes More Valentine Day Card Jokes

How to Skrillex sign his Valentine's Day cards?

I wub wub wub you....