Hug Jokes

How do porcupines hug?

Carefully!

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What did the French chef give his wife on Valentine's Day?

A hug and a little quiche.

Who came up with hugs?

The very first hug must have been really creepy. "What are you doing Why are you holding me " "Just trust me."

How many professional soccer players does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to change the bulb, and five to hug and kiss him.

What's big and purple and hugs your Easter basket?

The Easter Barney!

Why is horse racing so romantic?

Because the horse hugs the rails the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye!

What if sharks hug with their mouths?

Just sayin.

What rhymes with "hug me"?

Chutney.

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Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

What's the only animal that can't get hit in the head?

Duck.

Where do animals go when their Tails fall off?

The Retail store

Kiss Jokes More Kiss Jokes

What's it called when a vampire kisses you goodnight?

Necking.

What do you get when you kiss a bird?

Chirpies. It's a Canarial Disease. It's Untweetable!

Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

Why does the sun never set on the British Empire?

Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark!

Why did everyone trust the marsupial?

Everything he said was troo

Porcupine Jokes More Porcupine Jokes

What's the exchange rate for pigs and trees?

A porcupine.

What do you get it you cross a porcupine with a giraffe?

A long necked toothbrush.

Washing Machine Jokes More Washing Machine Jokes

What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?

A wash and wear wolf

What's the difference between your mama and a washing machine?

The washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it.

Half Hour Jokes More Half Hour Jokes

Why does a man only get half-hour lunch-breaks?

So his boss doesn't have to retrain him.

What's a man's idea of foreplay?

A half hour of begging.

Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

What do the Globetrotters do when they're finished urinating?

The Harlem Shake

Why was the blonde so happy after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months?

Because on the box it said From 2 to 4 years.

Store Jokes More Store Jokes

What's the difference between Batman and Blackman?

Batman can go to the store without robin Edit: glad you'll liked it

Why is the Adults only store open 24hrs?

Because get off at different times.