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Why can't you trust snakes?

They speak with forked tongues!

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Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

What do you see as your biggest weakness?

ME: INTERVIEWER: ME: MY MOTHER: He's not good at speaking up for himself

What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla?

Nobody is sure but if it opened its mouth to speak you'd listen!

Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

Why can't you trust snakes?

They speak with forked tongues!

Why can't you trust anything MATTER says?

Because it makes up everything.

Snake Jokes More Snake Jokes

What do you call a snake that tells bad jokes?

A corn snake

What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?

A boar constrictor!

Fork Jokes More Fork Jokes

Where do cars get the most flat tyres?

Where there is a fork in the road. This and other tyre jokes here:

What do you get when you cross pasta with a snake?

Spaghetti that winds itself around your fork.