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Who writes all his plays on the Internet?

Will-e. Shakespeare.

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What did the pope say to Aretha Franklin?

I said play pope music not pop music.

What do you call people who play April Fool's jokes?

Annoying.

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Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?

Because they can't stop saving their work.

Why will you never see a stag on the internet?

They like to stay anony-moose

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How does a composer remember which groceries to buy?

She writes a Chopin Liszt.

Whatcha got, reddit?

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!