Internet Jokes

Why doesn't Ganondorf like going on the internet?

There are too many Links.

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How do you call a dog that likes to be on the Internet?

A Labragoogle.

What does the internet need to take when its constipated?

Google Fiber Note: Randomly came up with this joke today

Why did the knight stop using the internet?

Because he was sick of chainmail.

What does Gandhi not like on the Internet?

Salt

What can't I find on the internet?

My keys

What do Germans look at on the internet?

Danke memes

What's the difference between most complex life forms, and the internet?

Most complex life forms are a tube within a tube, and the internet is more like a series of tubes.

How did Al Gore invent the Internet?

With Al-Gore-rithims

How much work does it take to send a packet across the internet?

20 Watts

What's more annoying on the internet, a troll or spam?

Your mom!

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How do you call it, when the internet is not working in Germany?

InterNEIN

Why did Billy not care who he offended while posting on the internet?

Because the ends justify the memes

How do you catch a runaway laptop?

With an Internet.

What is it called when you get sick from gaming on the internet?

YouTuberculosis.

Why did North Korea lose Internet?

Because they switched to Comcast.

How do trees access the internet?

They log on

How does a sea urchin search the internet?

Sea urchingine

What does Sean Connery surf on the Internet?

Reddish.

Why will you never see a stag on the internet?

They like to stay anony-moose

Why you cannot think of landing a job or business without internet?

No connection

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How does the vicar explore the Internet?

With the church mouse.

How are you getting on with the Internet?

Surf far so good.

What do you give a canine seeking meaningless validation on the internet?

Pupvotes

Why couldn't the baby camel surf the Internet?

Because whenever his parents saw their phone bill they got the hump.

What did you say to the policeman who spent eight hours on the Internet?

Oh give it arrest.

How did pirates communicate before the internet?

Pier to Pier Networking

What did Darth Vader say to the Internet?

May the force e-with you.

What do you get if you cross a giant ship with the Internet?

The Site-anic.

Who writes hit musicals on the Internet?

Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Which Lord Mayor of London was always on the Internet?

Click Whittington

Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?

Because they can't stop saving their work.

How do I find answers using Google.com?

On Yahoo Answers. Stand by while the internet divides itself by zero.

Who is the oldest singer on the Internet?

Click Jagger.

What's Lisbeth's twin sister's name who enjoys spending time on the internet?

Elizabeth.

Which of the seven dwarfs use the Internet?

Happ-e Sleep-e Grump-e Dope-e and Sneez-e.

What did the man who frequents the internet do with a book?

He Reddit.

Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?

They never want to log off.

How do people see so much on internet these days?

They put on the Google!

How do you make rude noises on the Internet?

With a whoop e-cushion.

What do you call a ghost on the Internet?

E-erie.

Who's the chief of the internet?

E-ronimo!

What do you get if you cross an elephant with the Internet?

I don't know but it's e-nourmous.

What did the parrot say when he was using the Internet?

P.Cs of eight P.Cs of eight.

Who currently provides your Internet?

He asked. I said, "My next door neighbour."

When The NSA is Monitoring Your Computer?

The power is on and you're connected to the internet.

How did the flea learn to use the internet?

He had to start from scratch.

What goes round the middle of the Internet?

The e-quator.

Where do you go to get a burger on the internet?

McDownloads!

What do you call someone who spends 24 hours a day on the Internet?

Anything you like they're not listening to you anyway.

What are Germans most thankful for on the internet?

Danke Memes

Why was the dyslexic rabbit disappointed when he received the solid gold bar he had ordered via the internet?

He thought the ad said '24 carrots'

How do you find white shirts on the Internet?

Use a starch engine.

What surfs the Internet and goes 'Choo Choo'?

Thomas the Search Engine.

What do you call an alien surfing the Internet?

E-t.

How do You find the worst joke of the internet?

You reddit.

Why was the skeleton using the Internet?

To bone up on his schoolwork.

How does a tree access the internet?

It logs on.

Who writes all his plays on the Internet?

Will-e. Shakespeare.

What did the sausage say when it couldn't log on to the Internet?

If at first you don't succeed Fry Fry again

Why did the mummy stop using the Internet?

He was getting far too wrapped up in it.

Who is the most popular wizard on the Internet?

Har e-potter.

How do the trees get on the internet?

They log on.

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Everybody Jokes More Everybody Jokes

What's the difference between everybody and bullets?

Everybody misses Harambe.

What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl?

Just flush it like everybody else does.

Lmao Zedong Jokes More Lmao Zedong Jokes

Who was the dankest dictator of all time?

LMao Zedong

How do Chinese people laugh over the internet?

Lmao Zedong

Ganondorf Jokes More Ganondorf Jokes

Why does Ganondorf hate the internet?

There are too many links.

Why can't Ganondorf use the Internet?

There's too many Links.

Mum Jokes More Mum Jokes

Why couldn't the spotty cat chase the sheep?

Because her Mum wouldn't leopard be a shepherd

What do I have in common with neutrinos?

We are both constantly penetrating your mum.

Chinese People Jokes More Chinese People Jokes

Whats the difference between Chinese people and racism?

Racism has many faces

What would happen if all Chinese people jumped off a chair, all at the same time?

I don't know either, but you would need a reeeally big chair!

Teacher Jokes More Teacher Jokes

Why did the student do their multiplication problems on the floor?

Their teacher told them not to use tables!

How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School?

Just planning ahead...

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

What do you get if you boil funnybones?

A laughing stock.

Why does nobody laugh at zombie-Peter Pan's jokes?

He always tells them with a dead Pan face.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean?

Bob

What is the definition of a good farmer?

A man outstanding in his field.