Internet Jokes

Because everyone uses the Internet to look up phone numbers or people don't have landlines anymore and cell phone numbers aren't listed in the phone book. Also people use social media to communicate and connect with people.

What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet?

DownlOdin. What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet illegally? Thorrenting.

Why did the rooster get 20 years in prison?

He got caught on the internet, looking up chicks.

What's the most annoying thing in the internet?

People who comment "repost" on a Joke subreddit.

How does a sea urchin search the internet?

Sea urchingine

What does Sean Connery surf on the Internet?

Reddish.

Why will you never see a stag on the internet?

They like to stay anony-moose

Why you cannot think of landing a job or business without internet?

No connection

What do you get if you cross the Internet with a currant bread?

Spotted click

March Madness Sale

Love

$5.99

How does the vicar explore the Internet?

With the church mouse.

How are you getting on with the Internet?

Surf far so good.

What do you give a canine seeking meaningless validation on the internet?

Pupvotes

Why couldn't the baby camel surf the Internet?

Because whenever his parents saw their phone bill they got the hump.

What did you say to the policeman who spent eight hours on the Internet?

Oh give it arrest.

How did pirates communicate before the internet?

Pier to Pier Networking

What did Darth Vader say to the Internet?

May the force e-with you.

What do you get if you cross a giant ship with the Internet?

The Site-anic.

Who writes hit musicals on the Internet?

Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Which Lord Mayor of London was always on the Internet?

Click Whittington

Why was the Redditors jokes so unoriginal?

Because he Reddit off the internet.

Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?

Because they can't stop saving their work.

How do I find answers using Google.com?

On Yahoo Answers. Stand by while the internet divides itself by zero.

Who is the oldest singer on the Internet?

Click Jagger.

What's Lisbeth's twin sister's name who enjoys spending time on the internet?

Elizabeth.

What was the internet like in the old days?

Me: *opens door* *pushes 16 outside* *locks door*

How do people look at the internet?

Me: How Him: With their google-y eyes

Which of the seven dwarfs use the Internet?

Happ-e Sleep-e Grump-e Dope-e and Sneez-e.

When I was your age... When I was your age, before the Internet, there was none of this e-bola. We just had plain bola. And you know what?

We were thankful.

What did the man who frequents the internet do with a book?

He Reddit.

Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?

They never want to log off.

How do people see so much on internet these days?

They put on the Google!

How do you make rude noises on the Internet?

With a whoop e-cushion.

What do you call a ghost on the Internet?

E-erie.

Who's the chief of the internet?

E-ronimo!

What do you get if you cross an elephant with the Internet?

I don't know but it's e-nourmous.

What did the parrot say when he was using the Internet?

P.Cs of eight P.Cs of eight.

Who currently provides your Internet?

He asked. I said, "My next door neighbour."

When The NSA is Monitoring Your Computer?

The power is on and you're connected to the internet.

How did the flea learn to use the internet?

He had to start from scratch.

What goes round the middle of the Internet?

The e-quator.

How do we not know what women want yet?

There are tons of conflicting lists all over the internet.

Where do you go to get a burger on the internet?

McDownloads!

What do you call someone who spends 24 hours a day on the Internet?

Anything you like they're not listening to you anyway.

What are Germans most thankful for on the internet?

Danke Memes

Why was the dyslexic rabbit disappointed when he received the solid gold bar he had ordered via the internet?

He thought the ad said '24 carrots'

How do you find white shirts on the Internet?

Use a starch engine.

What surfs the Internet and goes 'Choo Choo'?

Thomas the Search Engine.

What do you call an alien surfing the Internet?

E-t.

Why are we watching a live internet stream of men exiting a hole?

Isn't this using the internet backwards

How do You find the worst joke of the internet?

You reddit.

What's The Coolest Thing On the Internet I Can Buy for Under $100?

Http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/wyozq/whatisthecoolestthingicanbuyonthe/c5hp9rg

Why was the skeleton using the Internet?

To bone up on his schoolwork.

How does a tree access the internet?

It logs on.

What are the four elements?

Pupil: Fire Earth Water and the Internet. Teacher: What do you mean the Internet Pupil: Well Mum says that whenever I'm on the Net I'm in my element.

Who writes all his plays on the Internet?

Will-e. Shakespeare.

What did the sausage say when it couldn't log on to the Internet?

If at first you don't succeed Fry Fry again

Why did the mummy stop using the Internet?

He was getting far too wrapped up in it.

Who is the most popular wizard on the Internet?

Har e-potter.

How do the trees get on the internet?

They log on.

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Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What does it mean if holy water sizzles when it hits your skin?

I'm just asking for a friend)

What did the other nose say to the other nose when it was crying?

It told it a Nak-Nak joke! (In my language Urdu, Nak means nose.)

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

How do you find Will Smith in winter?

You follow the Fresh Prince

What is the difference between a girl and a washer?

The washer doesn't follow you around after you put a load in it.

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

Why did the vampire go to the doctors?

Because he was coffin...

How does a vampire get through life with only one fang?

He has to grin and bare it.

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

How heavy is a Chinese dumpling?

Wonton.

What is both a short shopping list, and a potential Chinese luxury automobile?

Rolls * Rice

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Who Wants to be a Millionaire Me: I'm stumped. Can I phone a friend?

Host: What's your friend's name Me: Wikipedia.

What'd Gandhi say when his friend told him to leave the protest?

Na 'ma ste

Series Jokes More Series Jokes

What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a Pentium?

Successive approximations.

What did the roach say after a series of disappointing hotel stays?

This is my last resort.

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

Why did the bacon laugh?

Because the egg cracked a yolk.

What's the difference between me and Jimmy Kimmel?

I can make it to the end of a Jimmy Kimmel joke without laughing.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

Why do people at Disneyland hate coke heads?

They're always cutting lines

What do you call a loaf of bread when you cut off both ends?

Endless Bread!

Internet Jokes

Why doesn't Ganondorf like going on the internet?

I Love Pizza & You

How do you call a dog that likes to be on the Internet?

What does the internet need to take when its constipated?

Why did the knight stop using the internet?

What does Gandhi not like on the Internet?

What did the feminist say when she saw a guy laughing at her picture on the Internet?

What can't I find on the internet?

What do Germans look at on the internet?

What's the difference between most complex life forms, and the internet?

How did Al Gore invent the Internet?

What is the one thing you can't say even on the internet?

Couple's Daily Question Mug

How much work does it take to send a packet across the internet?

What's more annoying on the internet, a troll or spam?

How do you call it, when the internet is not working in Germany?

Why did Billy not care who he offended while posting on the internet?

How do you catch a runaway laptop?

What do you call it when your lizard doesn't know how to use the internet?

What is it called when you get sick from gaming on the internet?

What do you call a bowl on the internet?

Why did North Korea lose Internet?

What did they call Ebola before the Internet?

We've Got This Love Thing Down

How do trees access the internet?

Why don't they have phone books in China?