Who currently provides your Internet?

He asked. I said, "My next door neighbour."

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Why are you so excited?

The surgeon asked the patient that was about to be anesthetized. "But doc this is my first operation." "Really It's mine too and I am not excited at all."

Whenever I shut down my computer, it asks, "Are you sure you want to shut down your computer?

Then I wonder if it knows something I don't.

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What do you call someone who spends 24 hours a day on the Internet?

Anything you like they're not listening to you anyway.

How do people look at the internet?

Me: How Him: With their google-y eyes

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How many calls do I get?

Cop: one me: What do you think is more likely a lawyer delivering pizza or a dominos providing legal counsel

Why was the guy from 127 Hours arrested for espionage?

He was proven guilty of providing arms to Iraq