What did the depressed, illiterate pepperoni slice say when asked where he was with his life?

Well it pizza heck out of me.

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Who says there's no life on Mars?

Why only today they found a Beagle!

What is love? The energy of life. What is marriage?

The energy bill...

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When I get a prescription for drugs, I don't ask, Will it work?

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When you ask her "Have you ever read Shakespeare?

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