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What did the depressed, illiterate pepperoni slice say when asked where he was with his life?

Well it pizza heck out of me.

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Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Where have you been all my life?

Please go back there.

How is life at the post office going?

It's going well I guess. It has its usps and it's downs. Edited for correctness

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What should have tipped off the airline ticket sellers on 9/11?

When the terrorists asked for anything cheaper than one-way.

What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god?

Are you Thor