When I bring you breakfast in bed, why can't you just say "thank you"?

Instead of all this "how did you get in to my house " calling 9-11 business.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What should you do if you find a witch in your bed?

Run!

What's bad about wetting your bed?

Urine it.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What did the pirate say after his successful pillage?

Thanks for the gold kind stranger!

Who's the only one who doesn't say thanks on Thanksgiving?

The Turkey.

House Jokes More House Jokes

How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Once the bulb goes out, they replace the house.

What's a poker player's favorite sitcom?

Full House.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

How do you tell if water is true or false?

Bring it to a bool.

Why did the mathematician bring home 24 eggs from the grocery store?

Because when he asked his wife how many eggs to buy, she said 4!

9 Jokes More 9 Jokes

Why was 9 mad at 0 after winning a game of bingo?

Because 0 1 2

What did the blonde think of the new computer?

She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.

Breakfast Jokes More Breakfast Jokes

What does an alcoholic neckbeard drink for breakfast?

M'mosa

Why do French people only have one egg at breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.