When I bring you breakfast in bed, why can't you just say "thank you"?

Instead of all this "how did you get in to my house " calling 9-11 business.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why did the composer spend all his time in bed?

He wrote sheet music.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for air, and calling your name?

You didn't hold down the pillow for long enough.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What's the difference between a singer-songwriter and a puppy?

A puppy eventually grows up and stops whining. Thanks to PuddinHead742 for this one.

What did the man in the wheelchair say when he returned the hat he borrowed?

Thanks for the handy cap.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What colour did Matthew McConaughey want his house to be painted?

All white, all white, all white.

Who was the best actor in the Bible?

Samson he brought the house down!

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

Why can't you bring valve oil to the airport?

Because its a band substance

How do you get a Mormon to not drink all of your beer on a fishing trip?

Bring two Mormons.

9 Jokes More 9 Jokes

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

10. 1 to change it and 9 to say they could have done it better.

Where do lightning bolts go on dates?

To cloud 9

Breakfast Jokes More Breakfast Jokes

Why did a man throw his breakfast out the window?

He was a cereal defenestrator.

What do you call taking a dump after breakfast?

A Brexit