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When I bring you breakfast in bed, why can't you just say "thank you"?

Instead of all this "how did you get in to my house " calling 9-11 business.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why did the boy take the ruler to bed?

He wanted to see how long he slept.

Why did the Italian wear handcuffs to bed?

So he wouldn't talk in his sleep

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What's the sound of a one-handed corpse clapping?

Dead silence. What's the sound of a one-handed zombie clapping? Undead silence. Thanks to my gaming group for those.

What would you like?

ME:What would YOU like W:Excuse me M:No one ever asks you, do they W:*tearing up* No.. they don't. Thank you.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What happens when the President dies?

The Vice President takes over. What happens when the Vice President dies? The Speaker of the House takes over. What happens when the Speaker of the House dies? You go to Radio Shack and buy a new speaker.

How does an Eskimo build his house?

Igloos it together.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

Why does Luigi bring an extra pair of overalls when he golfs?

In case he gets a hole-in-one

Why should you never bring your Pokemon cards into the washroom with you?

They might Pikachu.

9 Jokes More 9 Jokes

Why was 9 afraid of 10?

Because 10 11 12.

Who is a Project Manager?

Project Manager is a person who believes that 9 women can deliver a baby in one month.

Breakfast Jokes More Breakfast Jokes

Why do French people only ever have one egg for breakfast?

Because one egg is

Why do French people only have one egg at breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.