When I bring you breakfast in bed, why can't you just say "thank you"?

Instead of all this "how did you get in to my house " calling 9-11 business.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What's bad about wetting your bed?

Urine it.

Why is a restless man in bed like a lawyer?

Because he lies on one side and then turns around and lies on the other one.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Why couldn't the Hungarian programmer buy a third long?

Because he only had Forints!

What's "saying grace?

Me: It's when we thank the one who provided our food. 4-year-old: We thank the microwave

House Jokes More House Jokes

What do you get if you squash a house?

A flat.

How many Apple Geniuses does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, we just swap out your whole house

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What do you call it when your wife brings you rice porridge in prison?

Congee-gal visit

Why do astronauts bring their phone into space?

Because they can get 4g

9 Jokes More 9 Jokes

When asked which is more important looks or brains?

9 out of 10 zombies said "braaaaiiiiinnnnssss" number 10 ate the researcher.

Why was 9 afraid of 10?

Because 10 11 12.

Breakfast Jokes More Breakfast Jokes

Why couldn't the hunter cook breakfast?

The game warden found out he poached his eggs!

What did Hannibal Lector have for breakfast?

Kevin Bacon.... And Jon Hamm.