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How did the blind man know Santa was in his house?

He felt his presents.

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her?

You're getting too wrapped up in your work!

What's the difference.... Between my girlfriend and santa?

Some people actually believe santa exist.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you call a seagull that lives by the Bay?

I don't know, but it won't shut up about the app it's developing.

Why don't taxi drivers talk to each other?

They already know everything.

Present Jokes More Present Jokes

What does Santa say to the elves after they make the toys?

Leave my presents

Who delivers presents to the hood?

Crip Cringle.

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why do Republicans make good DJs?

Because they know how to shut the House down.

An IPv6 packet is walking out of the house.

He goes nowhere.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What's long and hard every time you wake up?

Getting out of bed. You never feel like it making hard to get up and you usually take a long time to.

When the hell did you grow a beard?

Me: This morning. On the way here. Just felt like it was time.

Blind Man Jokes More Blind Man Jokes

How does the blind man know when to stop wiping his arse?

I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

What did the blind man say when he walked into the fish market?

Good morniiiiiiing ladies!