How did the blind man know Santa was in his house?

He felt his presents.

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What does Santa teach his elves?

The Elfabet!

What does Santa say when he goes fox hunting?

Tally hohoho!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know you are sitting next to a ski instructor?

They'll tell you.

Who do you see winning the presidency in 4 years?

I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.

Present Jokes More Present Jokes

Who brings all the good little inclined plane girls and boys presents at Christmas?

Slanta Claus.

What, How is that possible!?

Vader: I felt your presents. Luke: NOOOOOOO

House Jokes More House Jokes

Who's there! Alistair! Alistair who?

Alistairs in this house are broken!

Why are haunted houses so noisy in April?

That's when the ghosts do their spring screaming!

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why did the Limestone feel unappreciated?

Because he thought people were taking him for granite.

How do you feel when your phone suddenly starts blaring your least favorite tune?

Alarmed.

Blind Man Jokes More Blind Man Jokes

What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish market?

Is this a tumblr meetup?

What is the worst thing anyone can do to a blind man?

Leave a plunger in the toilet!