Blind Man Jokes

How do you spot the blind man at a nudist beach?

Well..it's not hard

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

What is the worst thing anyone can do to a blind man?

Leave a plunger in the toilet!

What's a blind mans worst fear?

A prius

What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish market?

Is this a tumblr meetup?

What has one eye but can't see?

A blind man...

Why did the blind man swing his seeing eye dog around by the tail?

He was taking a look around

What did the blind man say when he walked by the fish market?

Good morning ladies.

Why did the blind man use chopsticks?

Because he couldn't see the point in forks.

How did the blind man know Santa was in his house?

He felt his presents.

What did the blind man say when he walked into the fish market?

Good morniiiiiiing ladies!

How can you recognise a blind man among a crowd of nudists?

It's not hard...

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

How do you surprise a blind man?

Stick a plunger in the toilet

What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish store?

Hello, ladies

What did the blind man say when he sipped a frozen drink and was cured?

Icee.

What's a blind mans favorite car?

A cataract

How does the blind man know when to stop wiping his arse?

I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

Why did the blind man cross the road?

Cuz he couldn't see it (Probly already posted but I've never seen it on r/jokes before)

How did a blind man drive his car?

One hand on the wheel the other on the road.

What did Jesus say after he healed the blind man?

Made you look!

What did the blind man say when he picked up a cheese grater?

This is the most violent story I've ever read!

Why did the blind man walk into a wall?

Somebody shot his dog

What's the worst thing you can do to a blind man?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

What did they say about the blind man who got hit by a bus?

He never saw it coming.

What did the blind man say to his old friend?

Ayy, long time no see!

What is the difference between a blind man and a sailor in prison?

One can't see to go the other can't go to sea.

What did the blind man say to his estranged friend?

Long time, no see.

How many books can a blind man read?

Brailly any!

How did a blind man meet his wife?

On a blind date!

What did the blind man say to the blind man?

Long time no see.

What did the blind man say when he arrived at the fish market?

Hello, ladies.

What did the blind man say when he was asked what he thought about the renovation plan of his house?

I don't know.. I just don't see it.

How do you make a blind man mad?

Awwwwwww. Look at them pretty flowers.

What is the worse thing you can do to a blind man?

Leave the plunger in the toilet!

What's a blind man doing on a boat?

Waiting for a bus.

What would the blind man say every morning when he walked past the fish market?

Good morning, ladies!

What is the first thing a blind man says?

My eyes! My eyes!

How many blind men would it take to change a light bulb?

Why would a blind man need a light bulb?

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why did you leave me here all alone?

Where o where are you tonight? Why did you leave me here all alone? I searched the world over and thought I found some one You met a zombie and pblblthpth you were gone.

How do you get even with Hellen Keller?

Comment your favorite Hellen Keller jokes) How do you get even with Hellen Keller Leave the plunger in the toilet

Fork Jokes More Fork Jokes

What did Obe Wan say to Skywalker when he was teaching him table manners?

Use the forks Luke.

What's red and silver and bumps in to walls?

A baby with forks in it's eyes.

Good Morning Jokes More Good Morning Jokes

What would the blind man say every morning when he walked past the fish market?

Good morning, ladies!

What did the blind man say when he walked by the fish market?

Good morning ladies.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many pick-up artists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Zero. They just keep praising and negging it, and then get upset when it doesn't screw.

How many American cops does it take to change a broken lightbulb?

Two. One to arrest the room for being black, and the other to arrest the bulb for being broke.

Recognise Jokes More Recognise Jokes

Why does China hate Digimon Fans?

Because they recognise Ty won

What do you do when you get to the top of the world's tallest mountain?

Have a rest. (Everest, get it?) Really awful joke, but I thought of it last night and was wondering if anyone recognised it? Who knows, it might be original....

Surprise Jokes More Surprise Jokes

What's the definition of a surprise?

A fart with a lump in it

How do you surprise a blind man?

Stick a plunger in the toilet

Eye Dog Jokes More Eye Dog Jokes

Why did the blind man swing his seeing eye dog around by the tail?

He was taking a look around

When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up?

This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.

Nudist Jokes More Nudist Jokes

How do nudists greet each other?

With a bare hug.

What do Pentecostals and Nudists have in common?

Neither can wear pants