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Point Jokes

How do you call it when an egg is on point?

Egg zactly!

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What's the different between a knife and a feminist?

A knife has a point

Who is better? The 3rd wave feminist or the pencil?

The pencil is better. It has a point.

Why did Hillary cross the road?

What difference, at this point, does it make?

Why do composers win debates?

Because when their opponent makes a point, they always respond with a valid counterpoint.

When drinking liquor while watching baseball, at what point will you be the most drunk?

Bottom of the fifth, of course.

What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership?

My newt.

Why did the blind man use chopsticks?

Because he couldn't see the point in forks.

What do you call someone who points out the obvious?

Someone who points out the obvious.

Why did the circle stop arguing with the two intersecting lines?

Because they had a point

Why did the small Egyptian climb to the top of the pyramid?

He couldn't see the point.

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What's the advantage of being black in Africa vs black in America?

Nobody can point at your shoes and say "What are thoooooooooose?!"

What did the deaf guy say to the blind guy?

I can't hear you, but I can see your point

Why does nobody talk to circles?

Because there is no point!

How many nihilists does it take to change a lightbulb?

They don't see the point and just sit in the dark.

Why did Wile E. Coyote have a "Detour" sign pointing to the edge of a cliff?

To throw the Roadrunner off.

What's the point of going to somebodys funeral?

It's not like they are coming to yours.

Why did the blind kid fail geometry?

He didnt see the point.

What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement?

Not enough cement EDIT: Okay thanks for pointing out that I messed up the wording but the joke is supposed to be the funny part

How many points do you get if you hit a golfer?

Fore.

Why buy an invisible knife?

I don't see the point

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Why did the guy not draw a circle?

Because there was no point.

Where does it hurt?

Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

Why can't a nihilist use a pencil?

Because they cant find the point.

What did the blind guy say to the deaf guy?

I hear what your saying, but I don't see your point

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

When is a dog most impolite?

When he points.

What is long and yellow and always points north?

A magnetic banana.

Whats the best thing on the menu?

Waiter: The cheesebur- Me: WRONG! *points to the picture I drew on it of Ironman fighting Darth Vader*

What's the difference between feminists and a pencil?

A pencil has a point.

Why won't a witch wear a flat cap?

Because there's no point in it.

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What's the difference between a triangle and Manchester United?

A triangle has three points

What's the similarity between Bruce Jenner and a Pharaoh?

At some point they turned into Mummys

What's yellow and always points to the north?

A magnetic banana.

Why don't witches wear a flat cap?

There's no point to it

Why did the witch lose her way?

Because her hat was pointing in the wrong direction.

Why should you not argue with a decimal?

Because decimals always have a point.

Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?

He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine" c/o /u/jubileo5

What do witches use pencil sharpeners for?

To keep their hats pointed.

How many redditors does it take to get a joke?

Three. One to get the punchline, and one to point out the math is wrong.

What is the point of owning a fish?

They are just furniture with the ability to die.

How many redditors does it take to point out a repost?

All of them.

What did the Math book say to the pencil?

I see your point I've got a lot of problems.

What did the pencil say to the sharpener?

Stop going in circles and get to the point.

What is the difference between arguing with a knife and arguing with your girlfriend?

The knife has a point.

How can you tell that a straight pin is confused?

Just look at it. It's headed in One Direction and pointed in the other.

Why did the women cross the road?

Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen!!!

Whats the point of calling it "secret Santa"?

Everyone knows that the person who gave you the gift is Santa.

Who run da world?

Points mic at me* ME: having briefly heard the song once before...squirrels

Why are Republicans so easy to point out?

They're usually the elephant in the room

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Newt Jokes More Newt Jokes

Why do you call it Tiny?

Because it's my newt.

What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership?

My newt.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What room is it?

When you arrive at the international airport you are American. There is a room that changes your nationality. When you enter this room you are Russian, when you leave this room you are Finnish, and while inside European. What room is it?

How does the balance sheet of a bank look like as of today?

On the left side there's nothing right and on the right side there's nothing left...

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why was the girl stuck in the revolving door for two weeks?

Cuz she couldn't find the door handle

Where did the girl go when the bomb exploded?

Everywhere.

3rd Jokes More 3rd Jokes

Who is better? The 3rd wave feminist or the pencil?

The pencil is better. It has a point.

Who placed 3rd for basketball in the 2016 Olympics?

LeBronze James

Wave Feminist Jokes More Wave Feminist Jokes

What's something a third wave feminist can't take?

A joke.

Whats the Difference between a Third-Wave Feminist and a Pencil?

The pencil has a point

Pencil Jokes More Pencil Jokes

What does a mathematician do about constipation?

Sits down and works it out with a pencil.

Why do pencils shave?

To look sharp. Credit: 3rd grade me.

Hillary Jokes More Hillary Jokes

What would be funny about Hillary as president?

That she would be sitting at the desk that Monica once kneeled under!

Why did Hillary go to the gynecologist?

She was feelin' the Bern!

Respond Jokes More Respond Jokes

How are you dealing with not writing any of the songs?

He responds, "One note at a time."

How does an atom with bad grammar respond to an order?

I on it.