Baseball Jokes

With the NHL season getting started tonight. I am wondering what are you best jokes making fun off sports teams. All Sports (Baseball,hockey,football, soccer etc).

What happened to the baseball played who was unfaithful to his wife?

He was thrown out at home. - His two balls got a strike.

How are a full count in baseball and a mutated 2 time convict the same?

They both have 3 balls and 2 strikes.

What do Cooperstown and Woodstock have in common?

Cooperstown is where Baseball wasn't invented and Woodstock is where the festival didn't happen.

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Why don't they allow lesbians to play baseball?

When they get to third base they think they've scored

What is CC Sabathia's favorite inning to pitch in baseball?

The bottom of the fifth

Why cant bulimics be pitchers in baseball?

Because they always throw up

Why don't matches play baseball?

One strike, and they're out.

What animal is best at hitting a baseball?

A bat!

What do you get when you cross a baseball with a turkey?

A fowl ball!

Why don't orphans play baseball?

They have no home to run to

Why are orphans terrible at baseball?

They've never known what home is.

Why did the farmer call his horse Baseball?

Because it's covered with horsehide!

Why are orphans unable to play baseball?

They've never known what home is.

What kind of baseball do burgers play?

Ketchup baseball!

Which cheeseburger makes a big hit in baseball?

A double!

What Do You Call Adrian Peterson Playing Baseball?

A switch hitter.

Who's bad at baseball but fun at parties?

A pitcher filled with margaritas!

Why is there a baseball bat under your bed?

Me: In case there's a burglar. 5: Me: 5: Why do burglars like to play baseball

What's the difference between a firstborn prince and a baseball?

A baseball is thrown to the air.

What do you call a crab that plays baseball?

A pinch hitter.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because he can't run home

What do a baseball and a Mexican have in common?

The harder you hit it the more English you get

Why couldn't The Doctor play baseball?

They couldn't figure out Who was on first (Sorry, if this has been submitted before, im new here)

What is Batman's favorite sport?

Baseball.

What do you get when you combine Soccer and Baseball?

Golbat.

What do you call a kid with no arms and legs playing baseball?

2nd base.

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Giant Jokes More Giant Jokes

Why are you wearing masks?

There are no other giant, mutated turtles. No one's gonna mistake a different turtle for you.

Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?

In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

Eve Jokes More Eve Jokes

What did Adam say to Eve on Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve.

What did Adam say to Eve the first time he got an erection?

Stand back, I don't know how big this thing is gonna get!

Ketchup Jokes More Ketchup Jokes

What is the question most frequently asked by a philosopher?

Would you like ketchup with your chips

Why don't I have a boyfriend?

God: I sent you one, you dumped him for putting ketchup on his steak. Me: Ah. That's right. Gross.

Cain Jokes More Cain Jokes

What's Cain's favorite genre of music?

Rock, I hear his brother hates it though.

Who's there! Cain! Cain who?

Cain you tell!

Baseball Game Jokes More Baseball Game Jokes

Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?

In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?

4 the home team

Baseball Player Jokes More Baseball Player Jokes

What do you get when you combined a baseball player with a metal alloy?

A steel

What's a baseball players favorite type cake?

A bundt cake.

Strike Jokes More Strike Jokes

Why did the man hit the fortune teller when she started laughing?

He was striking a happy medium.

What's worse than being struck by a lightning?

Being struck by an iMac.

Aggie Jokes More Aggie Jokes

Why did the Aggie take a golf club and a baseball glove storm chasing with him?

To golf the golf ball size hail and catch the baseball size hail

Why did the Aggie call 911 in the car wash?

He thought he saw the rotating car washer as a tornado