Limb Jokes

What do you call a potato with no limbs?

An amputater

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What's missing from Star Wars 7?

Nobody's limbs.

What does a tree say after it gets knocked over by the wind?

I went out on a limb.

What movie was made when Hannibal Lecter got Paralysed?

Silence of the Limbs

What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no limbs?

Names.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many Carpathians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, Vigo and see. (best read in Yanosh's voice)

What did one of Frankenstein's ears say to the other?

I didn't know we lived on the same block.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why can't you tell puns to a kleptomaniac?

Because they take everything literally (p.s. you can steal this joke if you want)

What do you want to be when you leave college?

Student: "Alive".

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What does a stock broker and a gym rat have in common?

NEED MORE GAINS

What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

Kinda Jokes More Kinda Jokes

What kinda overalls does Mario wear?

Denim denim denim

Ride Jokes More Ride Jokes

What do you call a man who rides his camel backwards?

Lawrence of Dublin.

What do you get when you cross a poisonous snake with a horse?

I dunno, but if it bites you, you can ride it to the hospital!

Recover Jokes More Recover Jokes

How many recovering alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

We'll get on it next week

What do you call a recovering alcoholic?

A ginspiration.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the pig say when his wife left him?

Don't go bacon my heart

How do you prove that your dog loves you more than your wife?

Lock them both in the trunk of the car for an hour, then open it up and see which one of them is happier to see you.

Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

Why couldn't they find the cheesemaker after the accident?

He was trapped under da-Brie!

What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.