Bleed Jokes

What bleeds once a month and has absolutely no sense of humor?

Me. I'm pretty clumsy so I get paper cuts pretty regularly.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What's got two legs, spots and bleeds?

Half a cheetah.

What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot?

Half a cat.

What has two legs and bleeds profusely?

Half a cat

What has two legs and bleeds a lot?

Half a dog

What's got two legs and bleeds?

Half a dog Derek, s01e05

What has got two legs and bleeds?

Half a dog!

What eye cannot see, cannot blink and is bleeding?

The browneye. You'll have to guess why its bleeding.

What has 2 legs and bleeds profusely?

Half a cat

What do you call a confederate that's bleeding out?

A rebel without a gauze

What's got two legs and bleed a lot?

Half-a-dog!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What does the husband say to his wife whose nose is bleeding?

Nothing, he already said it twice.

Why did the clueless shark keep swimming in circles?

It had a bleed on its tail fin.

What bleeds once a month in the mouth?

Me, when I remember to floss once a month. Edit: account got hacked and showed something different. Sorry about that

What can guys call it?

How about bleeding white

What do Jesus and my high school girlfriend have in common?

They both bled for me.

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Spot Jokes More Spot Jokes

How do you spot the blind man at a nudist beach?

Well..it's not hard

How do you spot a necrophiliac at a funeral?

Mourning wood.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop a charging bull?

Take away its credit card!*** wa-waa-waaaa! Skip

What's the difference between a singer-songwriter and a puppy?

A puppy eventually grows up and stops whining. Thanks to PuddinHead742 for this one.

Guess Jokes More Guess Jokes

What's the reason my shower isn't working?

You have only one second to guess the answer. No pressure.

What happened to all the Pokémon GO jokes?

I guess people have made the "switch" to another fad.

Daddy Jokes More Daddy Jokes

What's the first thing a hillbilly says after losing her virginity?

Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes.

Why was the Egyptian kid confused?

Because his daddy was a mummy

Half Dog Jokes More Half Dog Jokes

What has two legs and bleeds a lot?

Half a dog

What's got two legs and bleed a lot?

Half-a-dog!

Absolutely Sense Jokes More Absolutely Sense Jokes

What bleeds once a month and has absolutely no sense of humor?

Me. I'm pretty clumsy so I get paper cuts pretty regularly.

Rebel Jokes More Rebel Jokes

Why do gyms produce the best Rebels?

Because of all the resistance training

What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?

A rebel without a Claus.

Easy Way Jokes More Easy Way Jokes

What's the easiest way to pay a musician?

Open the door, hand him the cash and take the pizza

What is the easiest way for a stressed astronaut to unwind and decompress?

By opening the door.