Bleed Jokes

What bleeds once a month and has absolutely no sense of humor?

Me. I'm pretty clumsy so I get paper cuts pretty regularly.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot?

Half a cat.

What has two legs and bleeds profusely?

Half a cat

What has two legs and bleeds a lot?

Half a dog

What has got two legs and bleeds?

Half a dog!

What has 2 legs and bleeds profusely?

Half a cat

What's got two legs and bleed a lot?

Half-a-dog!

Why did the clueless shark keep swimming in circles?

It had a bleed on its tail fin.

What bleeds once a month in the mouth?

Me, when I remember to floss once a month. Edit: account got hacked and showed something different. Sorry about that

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Guess Jokes More Guess Jokes

What is the difference between 1 Gb and 2 Gb?

Student - Well, I don't know. I guess one is a bit too high?

What did the colours red and violet say to one another when they couldn't agree in their debate?

I guess we're just on different ends of the spectrum.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

Why is a good husband like bread dough?

Because his wife needs him.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What did the car said to the valet?

I've been through a lot.

Why do we need to go to college?

Student: Why do we need to go to college? Teacher: So we can get a high paying job Student: Why do we need a high paying job Teacher: So we can get lots of money Student: Why do we need lots of money Teacher: So we can pay off our college loans

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do we know that Jesus wasn't born in Mexico?

Because he'd never have been able to find 3 wise men and a virgin.

What does God call his nose?

God knows.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell a cow isn't listening to you?

Everything you say goes in one ear and out the udder!

How can you tell if a fencer is a redditor?

By how often he ripostes.

Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

Why should you never trust advice from a group of gryphons?

Half of them are lyin'.

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

Confederate Jokes More Confederate Jokes

Half Dog Jokes More Half Dog Jokes

What's got two legs and bleed a lot?

Half-a-dog!

What has two legs and bleeds a lot?

Half a dog