Bleed Jokes

What bleeds once a month and has absolutely no sense of humor?

Me. I'm pretty clumsy so I get paper cuts pretty regularly.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot?

Half a cat.

What has two legs and bleeds profusely?

Half a cat

What has two legs and bleeds a lot?

Half a dog

What has got two legs and bleeds?

Half a dog!

What has 2 legs and bleeds profusely?

Half a cat

What's got two legs and bleed a lot?

Half-a-dog!

Why did the clueless shark keep swimming in circles?

It had a bleed on its tail fin.

What bleeds once a month in the mouth?

Me, when I remember to floss once a month. Edit: account got hacked and showed something different. Sorry about that

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What kind of alcohol gets stuck in your head for days?

Red Red Wine!

What's a dentists favorite time of day?

Tooth-Hurty

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about.2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

How many homeless guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only 2, but I have no idea how you're gonna fit both of them inside a lightbulb.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?

She was fed up with the hole business.

Why don't electrical engineers get girls?

Because they can resistor.

Spot Jokes More Spot Jokes

How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?

It isn't hard

How is "Shark spotted swimming off the coast" news worthy?

Now if a shark was seen walking off the coast that's different.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?

Santa knows to stop after three Ho's.

How do you stop your bacon from curling in the pan?

Take their little stones and brooms away!

Absolutely Sense Jokes More Absolutely Sense Jokes

What bleeds once a month and has absolutely no sense of humor?

Me. I'm pretty clumsy so I get paper cuts pretty regularly.

Limb Jokes More Limb Jokes

What movie was made when Hannibal Lecter got Paralysed?

Silence of the Limbs

What do you call a potato with no limbs?

An amputater

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the hippy say when I told him to get off my couch?

Namaste

What do monkeys sleep on?

Apricots. I used to love this joke when I was a little kid and told it over and over. I'm still a little in love with it for that reason. What are some of your favorite jokes from when you were a little kid?