Two guys walk into a bar...

The first guy says "Ouch!" and the second says "Yeah, I didn't see it either."

Why does the Clyde run through Glasgow?

Because if it walked, it'd get jumped!

What's the most common activity people do while wearing safety vests?

Reflect! I use this dadjoke on my pregnant wife every day when she goes out for walks after dark and wears a safety vest.. 'Now honey, don't forget to reflect on all sorts of things, especially car headlights!'

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What happens when a guy from Finland dies?

He is finnished. Ha ha ha. God I am so depressed.

Why does noone listen ever to the guy who talks with his mouth full?

He is so misunderstood.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What do you call a bee that can't make up his mind?

Second Caribou: A maybee.

What did the white high school dropout get for his birthday?

A legacy scholarship for his second choice school

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What do ghosts order at the bar?

Sam-BOO!-ca

Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?

She heard that the drinks were on the house.