What has 5 fingers but isn't your hand?

My hand.

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Why are hot dogs the best dogs?

Because they feed the hand that bites them.

What did the one eyed thief, with a hook for a hand, call the elven princess?

Arrrrrrr-wen

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What time is it in New York City?

5 past Lundqvist

What's the hardest part about being a vegan?

Waking up at 5 am to milk the almonds.