March Madness Sale - 25% Off

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

Previous Random Joke Next
Point Jokes More Point Jokes

Why do composers win debates?

Because when their opponent makes a point, they always respond with a valid counterpoint.

Why do people point at their wrist when asking for the time?

Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you think of my tweets?

Wife: They're all pretty terrible. Me: Don't you have ANYTHING positive to say Wife: You're consistent.

What did the police officer say to stop the depressed man from jumping off the bridge?

You have potential. Sorry if this is a repost, just thought of it now.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What kind of watch does Germs Bond wear?

An Amoeba.

Why don't tornadoes watch Bill O'Reilly on FOXNEWS?

It is a no spin zone

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?

Bison

What did Einstein's dad say when he published his theory of relativity?

Damn, son. It's about time!

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

What is Saturn's favorite movie?

Lord of the Rings.

What do you call an Irish snake in Lord of the Rings?

Legolas

Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

Who cares if you pee in the shower?

The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Why did the model pee herself?

She was all dressed up with no place to go!

Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?

Be too drunk to find your keys.

Why couldn't they find the cheesemaker after the accident?

He was trapped under da-Brie!

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

Why was that guy yelling at you?

Flashback to me ignoring the "one per customer" sign me with a mouthful of cheese samples No idea