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Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

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Point Jokes More Point Jokes

When drinking liquor while watching baseball, at what point will you be the most drunk?

Bottom of the fifth, of course.

Why did Wile E. Coyote have a "Detour" sign pointing to the edge of a cliff?

To throw the Roadrunner off.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How to make Holy Water Friend: Hey, how do you make Holy Water?

Me: Uhh...Let me think... Why Friend: You boil the hell out of it! Me: Get out.

What did Hamlet say when he was thinking of sending a message?

To e or not to e that is the question.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What did the cat do when he didn't want to watch the movie?

He paws-ed it!

What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time...

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

Why does your son call you big brother?

Because he's your mom's kid.

What is the difference between Napoleon and his son?

One is a Bonaparte from the other.

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

What do hand grenades and wives have in common?

Remove the ring and your house is gone.

What's Rick Ross's favorite nursery rhyme?

Ring Around the Rooooozaaay.

Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

What did the poop say to the pee when he was hitting on her?

I may be a two but your an eight..

What did the priest announce before he went for a bath?

Speak now or forever hold your pee!

Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

What do you call someone who blows himself up by accident?

An Errorist!

What's the difference between an accident and a catastrophe?

It's an accident if a boat full of refugees starts to take in water. A catastrophe is if they know how to swim

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

How was work?

Flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said "abreast" me:Good