Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

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Point Jokes More Point Jokes

How can you tell that a straight pin is confused?

Just look at it. It's headed in one direction and pointed in the other.

What's the point?

You look ridiculous. What difference does 1 inch really make Don't answer that.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.

What did the pumpkin pie say to the cheesecake as they were going into the oven?

I think this is a set up!

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

Why do you have 0 viewers on Twitch?

Because not even Nightbot is watching you.

What do vegetables watch when they're feeling frisky?

Cornography

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did Jose name his son?

Hose B

How do you like going to school?

Son: The going bit is fine as is the coming home bit too but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

What do you say to a molecular biologist who's about to step foot into the ring?

Show him what you're made of!

Why did the dog run into the corner every time the door bell rang?

Because he is a Boxer

Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because the pee is silent.

What did the judge say to the attractive woman soaked in pee?

You're an eight.

Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

How many monkeys does it take to write a Shakespeare novel by accident?

As many as it takes submitters to write an original joke. (by accident)

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

How did you get those horrible burns?

Flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire.