Why is marriage is like an alarm clock?

After the ring, you wake up!

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Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

Why should you be quiet in a pharmacy?

In case you wake the sleeping pills!

What's a glow worms favourite song?

Wake me up before you glow glow!

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

Why can't an elephant ride a bicycle?

Because he doesn't have a thumb to ring the bell.

How are a grenade and a wife similar?

If you pull the ring off it, the house is gone

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

What two words result in the most marriages?

Screw it. EDIT: has a better answer

What is love? The energy of life. What is marriage?

The energy bill...

Alarm Clock Jokes More Alarm Clock Jokes

Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

How does a blonde set the time on her alarm clock?

She waits until midnight and plugs it back in. Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it.