Why is marriage is like an alarm clock?

After the ring, you wake up!

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Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What does a man often wake with, but can never go to sleep with?

An alarm, you pervert!

What did George Michael say to his partner before he went to work?

Wake me up before you go-go

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

Why do church bells never send e-mails?

They'd rather give each other a ring.

How do you burn an Irishman ear?

Ring him while he's ironing...

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

Why didn't Tarzan and Jane manage to save their marriage?

Because Tarzan was swingin' from three to three.

Why does mom always yell at you?

Me: Marriage is complicated. 4: Is it because you're stupid

Alarm Clock Jokes More Alarm Clock Jokes

Why is marriage is like an alarm clock?

After the ring, you wake up!

How does a blonde set the time on her alarm clock?

She waits until midnight and plugs it back in. Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it.