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Alarm Clock Jokes

How does a blonde set the time on her alarm clock?

She waits until midnight and plugs it back in. Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it.

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What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day?

He always came on time.

Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

What do you call a screaming timepiece?

An alarmed clock.

Why is marriage is like an alarm clock?

After the ring, you wake up!

What time does an engineer set his alarm clock for?

Around Thevenin the morning

What is the difference between a baby and a alarm clock?

You only have to hit the alarm clock once to make it be quiet...

What do you call a cat when he first wakes up with the alarm clock?

Catsup!