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Why do golf commentators speak softly?

To not wake the audience.

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Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

What paper product speaks really quickly?

Wrapping paper.

What did one mandarin say to the other mandarin?

I don't know, I don't speak Mandarin.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

How woke?

Me: We're putting Harriet Tubman on something that enslaves us all today.

Why should you be quiet in a pharmacy?

In case you wake the sleeping pills!

Audience Jokes More Audience Jokes

How did I know my joke was not alright with my audience?

They all left.

Why did the alcoholic quit his acting career when the audience jeered at him?

He couldn't handle his boos.