Why do golf commentators speak softly?

To not wake the audience.

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Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

How do you call a person that speaks only one language?

An American

What language do pirates speak?

Arrrrrrabic! A friend and I were extremely high and he thought of this.Good times.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What's that awful thing called... M: ... J: You wake up with it after you drink?

M: Linda.

What does a widow say when she wakes up?

Mourning

Audience Jokes More Audience Jokes

Why did the alcoholic quit his acting career when the audience jeered at him?

He couldn't handle his boos.

Why is James Bond a terrible motivational speaker?

Because the audiences are shaken, not stirred.