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Why did the alcoholic quit his acting career when the audience jeered at him?

He couldn't handle his boos.

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Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

Why did Barty Crouch Jr. quit drinking?

Because it was making him moody.

Why did the can-crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing.

Boo Jokes More Boo Jokes

What is something that basically stops when you stare at it, but flys by when you dont?

There are two answere: Time and Boo (from Mario games). Just made this joke up what do you guys think

What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?

MIKE: We'll have a boo Christmas without you.

Handle Jokes More Handle Jokes

Why do the bald seem to handle life so much better than the rest?

They're always eager for more on their pate.

Why do Polish police cars have stripes on the side?

So the cops can find the handles.

Alcoholic Jokes More Alcoholic Jokes

How does an Alcoholic teach the ABC's to their children?

Backwards.

What should you never do in front of an alcoholic?

Whine.

Audience Jokes More Audience Jokes

How does Times Square start the new year?

By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! "The audience can sing this one."

Why is James Bond a terrible motivational speaker?

Because the audiences are shaken, not stirred.