Why did the alcoholic quit his acting career when the audience jeered at him?

He couldn't handle his boos.

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Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

What do you call a guy that used to fight in the ring, but quit it all for video games?

An ex-boxer.

Why did the cyclops quit his job as a teacher?

He only had one pupil.

Boo Jokes More Boo Jokes

How can you tell when a bar is haunted?

It's full of Boo's and Spirits.

What does a zen ghost say?

Boo, duh...

Handle Jokes More Handle Jokes

What is the best tool for getting a handle on your gambling addiction?

A vice grip.

Who handles font related crimes?

A sans sheriff!

Alcoholic Jokes More Alcoholic Jokes

How does an Alcoholic teach the ABC's to their children?

Backwards.

What do alcoholics and necropheliacs have in common?

They both love to crack open a cold one.

Audience Jokes More Audience Jokes

Why do golf commentators speak softly?

To not wake the audience.

How did I know my joke was not alright with my audience?

They all left.