Why did the alcoholic quit his acting career when the audience jeered at him?

He couldn't handle his boos.

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Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

Why did the cyclops quit teaching?

He had only one pupil.

What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders?

He quit running.

Boo Jokes More Boo Jokes

Why did the ghosts haunt the bar?

For the boos.

Where did the ghost go shopping?

At the BOO-tique

Handle Jokes More Handle Jokes

How would you say you handle job pressure?

Not a problem.jpg

How do you want to handle your mother in law?

Do you want her incinerated, embalmed or buried -All of them, lets not take any chances

Alcoholic Jokes More Alcoholic Jokes

What does an alcoholic do when he is out of beer?

Wine

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

Audience Jokes More Audience Jokes

Why did the alcoholic quit his acting career when the audience jeered at him?

He couldn't handle his boos.

How did you travel such a distance so fast?

I went through a wormhole." Worms in the audience: Omg this is so unrealistic.