Boo Jokes

What does a ghost drink?

Boo's.

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What do me an Kanye West have in common?

When I rant as much as that people boo me too.

Why did the ghost go into rehab?

He had a problem with boos.

What did the ghost say when he got to the Halloween party?

Im here for the boos.

What has four legs and goes 'Boo'?

A cow with a cold.

Why do ghosts get invited to parties?

Because they always bring boos.

What does the ghost of Al Pacino say?

Boo-ah!

What did the French baker ghost said?

BOO! Langerieeee!

How can you tell when a bar is haunted?

It's full of Boo's and Spirits.

Why was the ghost sad on Halloween?

He ain't have no boo

What does a zen ghost say?

Boo, duh...

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What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks?

You. Why I oughta...! Edit: Wow, thanks for all the love. My son is quite the character and he really caught me off guard with this!

Why don't ghosts play sports?

Boo!

What do these jokes and a ghost have in common?

Boo man! Boo!

What did the straight edge ghost say to the bartender?

No boos for me.

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who?

Just Boo! I'm a ghost!

Where do Peek-a-boo patients go?

The ICU.

Why'd you give me ghost shaped candy?

Cuz you my BOO

Why did the alcoholic quit his acting career when the audience jeered at him?

He couldn't handle his boos.

Why are ghosts banned from the liquor store?

They would steal all the boos.

How do you help a sick ghost feel better?

Give it a BOO-quet of flowers!

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What's a young birds favourite game?

BEAK A BOO!

Why can't you play peek-a-boo with Jesus?

Because he has holes in his hands

What pants do ghosts wear?

BOO jeans.

Who do ghosts worship?

Boo, DUH!!!

Where did the ghost go shopping?

At the BOO-tique

What is white, floats, and says "Boo"?

A ghost boat.

Who do blind kids boo at wrestling events?

John Cena.

Why does everyone love when a ghost goes to a party?

Because he always brings the boos

What's the book of socially prominent monsters?

The Book of who's Boo.

What's a ghost's favorite data type?

BOO-lean!

What is something that basically stops when you stare at it, but flies by when you don't?

There are two answers: Time and Boo (from Mario games).

What is a ghost pirate's favourite letter?

Boo! T

What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?

MIKE: We'll have a boo Christmas without you.

What happened to the ghost who couldn't scare?

He had to join a support group since he couldn't handle his boos.

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who?

Don't cry, it's only a joke

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He was hooked on phonics.

Why did the broken straw go to rehab?

It had a serious drinking problem.

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What was the Olympic lifter missing from his bar?

Weight for it...

Why did the ghost get kicked out of the bar?

Because he was sheet faced.

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Why wasn't the Achilles invited into the body?

Because it was already attendin'.

How does a yoga instructor turn down an invite?

Namaste home tonight.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot?

Half a dog

What has two legs and red all over?

Half a puppy... I'm sorry

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Why did Sherlock Holmes not want a second cup of tea in the emergency room?

Because it was More ER Tea.

Why does Britain love tea so much?

Because tea leaves.

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What can a yakuza do for living when he doesn't want to hurt people?

Tattoo master

What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties?

Women!

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Why did the hipster never catch a fish?

Because he didn't go in the mainstream

What sort of net is useless for catching fish?

A football net!