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What has two legs and red all over?

Half a puppy... I'm sorry

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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs that falls into a body of water?

Bob.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What do you call a man with half a brain?

Gifted.

How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.