Tea Jokes

What do Englishmen like more than tea?

Tea tea

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How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it. I'm serious! That Israeli how he does it!

How does Moses get his tea ready?

Hebrews

What do ants drink?

Tea. It's an ant tea joke.

What is a politician's favorite kind of tea?

Infideli-tea.

Why does Britain love tea so much?

Because tea leaves.

Why does Britain like tea so much?

Because tea leaves.

Why do hipsters burn their lips when they drink tea?

Because they drink it before it's cool.

What kind of tea do koalas drink?

Euca-lipton

What does a pirate do when he has a cold?

Arrr make tea

Why does Karl Marx not take milk in his tea?

Because proper tea is theft.

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What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow?

Reality.

How did Moses make his tea in the morning?

Hebrewed it.

Why was Sean Connery accused of piracy while drinking tea?

He took a ship.

How did the hipster burn their tongue?

They drank their tea before it was cool.

How do you ask a tyrannosaur out to lunch?

Tea, Rex?

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality

What's the difference between England and a cup of tea?

The teabag stays in the cup longer.

What kind of tea do wealthy people own?

Proper-Tea

What happens when you take the tea away from your guest?

He's left there trying to "guess" what happened.

Why was the tea so obstinate?

Because it was steeped in tradition.

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What's the worst kind of tea?

Emptea!

What do you call a weak cup of tea?

Subtlety.

Why can't the Maple Leafs have any tea?

Because Boston has all the cups!

Why didn't the coffee and the tea get along?

Because they were being "brewed"

What kind of tea does a house drink?

Propertea

What kind of tea did the American colonists want?

Liberty

What tea do hockey players drink?

Penaltea!

Why must rabbits never miss dinner?

With out their tea they'd be Rabbis.

What type of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality

What kind of tea do the crime investigation team drink?

A "casual tea"

What does Batman add to his tea?

Just ice.

What tea do footballers drink?

Penaltea!

What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow?

Reality

What's the difference between a vampire and a cookie?

You can't dip a vampire in your tea.

What did the host say after her guest complimented her on her tea?

Thanks, it's my special tea.

How Moses makes his tea?

Hebrews it.

How does Sherlock prefer his tea?

Steeped in mystery!

What kind of tea does water make?

Humiditea.

Why did Sherlock Holmes not want a second cup of tea in the emergency room?

Because it was More ER Tea.

How does Bilbo take his tea?

Bag-in

What kind of tea do you pay an arm and a leg for?

Amputee

What kind of tea isn't fake?

A property

How did Moses make his tea?

Hebrewed it

Who's there! Anais! Anais who?

Anais cup of tea!

What's the difference between a biscuit and a monster?

You can dip a biscuit in your tea but a monster is too big to fit in the cup.

What should you wear when drinking tea?

A tea-shirt.

What do you get when you mix tea and a dogs name?

A dinosaur! Ha ha get it Tea-rex...

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What happens when a controlled fire goes out of control?

Someone gets fired.

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What do Mexicans use with the Wii-U?

Amiigo

What do members of secret societies use when they get a head cold?

An Illumi-neti pot

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What do you get when you cross a dylexsic, insomiac and a agnostic?

Someone who stays up at night wondering if there really is a dog.

What did King Midas say to the centaur?

Stay gold, Ponyboy.

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What's the different between England and a tea bag?

A tea bag last longer in the cup

What is the difference between Liverpool football and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

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What kind of writing makes the most money?

Ransom notes.

What kind of bus can cross the ocean?

A Columbus.

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Why can't T-rex's clap?

Cause they're dead.

Why can't the bishop walk straight?

Cause he can only move diagonally

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What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

Student: A teacher!

What is the difference between a sociopath and a buddhist?

A sociopath sees people as things a buddhist sees things as people.

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Why did the house go to the doctor?

It was having window panes.

What do you call houses who have good behavior?

Manors.