Tea Jokes

What do Englishmen like more than tea?

Tea tea

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How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it. I'm serious! That Israeli how he does it!

How does Moses get his tea ready?

Hebrews

What do ants drink?

Tea. It's an ant tea joke.

What is a politician's favorite kind of tea?

Infideli-tea.

Why does Britain love tea so much?

Because tea leaves.

Why does Britain like tea so much?

Because tea leaves.

Why do hipsters burn their lips when they drink tea?

Because they drink it before it's cool.

What kind of tea do koalas drink?

Euca-lipton

What does a pirate do when he has a cold?

Arrr make tea

Why did so many people support the colonist protest of tea?

Cause everyone wanted'a "boo" tea!

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Why does Karl Marx not take milk in his tea?

Because proper tea is theft.

What do you call tea made by a stoned marsupial?

High koala tea

What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow?

Reality.

How did Moses make his tea in the morning?

Hebrewed it.

Why was Sean Connery accused of piracy while drinking tea?

He took a ship.

How did the hipster burn their tongue?

They drank their tea before it was cool.

How do you ask a tyrannosaur out to lunch?

Tea, Rex?

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality

What's the difference between England and a cup of tea?

The teabag stays in the cup longer.

What kind of tea do wealthy people own?

Proper-Tea

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What happens when you take the tea away from your guest?

He's left there trying to "guess" what happened.

Why was the tea so obstinate?

Because it was steeped in tradition.

What's the worst kind of tea?

Emptea!

What do you call a weak cup of tea?

Subtlety.

Why can't the Maple Leafs have any tea?

Because Boston has all the cups!

Why didn't the coffee and the tea get along?

Because they were being "brewed"

What kind of tea does a house drink?

Propertea

What kind of tea did the American colonists want?

Liberty

What tea do hockey players drink?

Penaltea!

Why must rabbits never miss dinner?

With out their tea they'd be Rabbis.

What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?

Reality

What type of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality

What kind of tea do the crime investigation team drink?

A "casual tea"

What does Batman add to his tea?

Just ice.

What tea do footballers drink?

Penaltea!

What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow?

Reality

What's the difference between a vampire and a cookie?

You can't dip a vampire in your tea.

What did the host say after her guest complimented her on her tea?

Thanks, it's my special tea.

How Moses makes his tea?

Hebrews it.

How does Sherlock prefer his tea?

Steeped in mystery!

What kind of tea does water make?

Humiditea.

Why did Sherlock Holmes not want a second cup of tea in the emergency room?

Because it was More ER Tea.

How does Bilbo take his tea?

Bag-in

What kind of tea do you pay an arm and a leg for?

Amputee

What kind of tea isn't fake?

A property

How did Moses make his tea?

Hebrewed it

Who's there! Anais! Anais who?

Anais cup of tea!

How do Vampires Make Tea?

Used Tampons

What's the difference between a biscuit and a monster?

You can dip a biscuit in your tea but a monster is too big to fit in the cup.

What should you wear when drinking tea?

A tea-shirt.

What do you get when you mix tea and a dogs name?

A dinosaur! Ha ha get it Tea-rex...

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Earl Grey Jokes More Earl Grey Jokes

Why didn't Karl Marx like Earl Grey tea?

Because all proper tea is theft.

Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey?

Because all proper tea is theft.

Communist Jokes More Communist Jokes

What do a communist and a nihilist have in common?

It's all the same to them

Which is the most communist vegetable?

The soviet Onion

Milk Jokes More Milk Jokes

What do you call it when the only cow on your dairy farm won't produce milk?

Utter despair.

How do you stop ISIS?

Leave some milk in the sun for a few days.

Theft Jokes More Theft Jokes

Why doesn't Karl Marx like Earl Grey Tea?

Because all proper tea is theft.

Why did Karl Marx always buy cheap tea?

Because he believed that all proper tea was theft.

Cup Jokes More Cup Jokes

What's the difference between Italy and a tea bag?

Ones in a cup

Why couldn't the cup of tea climb flight of stairs?

Because it was too steep.

Marxist Jokes More Marxist Jokes

How many Marxists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. The lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

Why do Marxists drink herbal tea?

Because all proper tea is theft.

People Jokes More People Jokes

Where do people with one leg work at?

And what are the employees names?

Why did people stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson?

Banta: Because people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes..

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What is the worst joke you have ever Heard?

I'll start it off: Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

Where did I get my scarf?

It's a CVS receipt. You love it Oh thank you very much.