What's the difference between a vampire and a cookie?

You can't dip a vampire in your tea.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between CNN and Al-Jazeera?

CNN shows the missiles taking off and Al-Jazeera shows them landing. (Not mine, just heard it on the Jimmy Dore show) also "My favorite indie band is Palestinian. I think they're really going to blow up."

What is the difference between arguing with a knife and arguing with your girlfriend?

The knife has a point.

Tea Jokes More Tea Jokes

What kind of tea does water make?

Humiditea.

How Moses makes his tea?

Hebrews it.

Dip Jokes More Dip Jokes

How's your nutrition?

ME: *dipping my burrito into custard* Not going to lie. It's been worse.

Why did the reporter only dunk chips in the middle of the dip?

He just wanted the inside scoop.

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

Where did vampires go to first in America?

New-fang-land.

Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with?

The girl necks door.

Cookie Jokes More Cookie Jokes

Why did the cookie visit the doctor?

He was feeling a little crummy.

How many Blondes does it take to bake chocolate chip cookies?

10....one to bake the cookies, and 9 to peel the M&Ms