Handle Jokes

How would you handle a complaint from a customer?

Applicant: Well that depends, what's the complaint? Interviewer: He's complaining that his burger had onions on it, even though he specifically asked they were to be removed. Applicant: Well I'd start by telling him he's in the retail section.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What did the bacon say to the sandwich?

This club can't even handle me right now

Who handles font related crimes?

A sans sheriff!

How Many Wal-Mart Workers Does it Take to Screw In a Lightbulb?

One to screw in the lightbulb, stock four carts of supplies, and handle seventeen simultaneous customers at any one time for five consecutive hours.

Why is it called Justice League of America?

Do they follow territorial boundaries? If the Kaos Kommandos start a brawl in El Paso and it rolls over into Juarez, do they say "screw it, let Justice League of Mexico handle it"? (Sorry if this isn't technically a joke; it was my shower thought this morning and I thought it was funny.)

Why can you always trust Frankenstein's monster?

He's got somebody else's back, he could probably handle yours.

What's Paul Walker's favorite energy drink???

N.O.S. too bad he can't handle the crash...

Why are manholes round?

They figured three squares was enough for the sewers to handle.

Why was Pinocchio acting drunk?

He couldn't handle his lacquer

Why is the peanut crying?

Because he couldn't handle his roast

What is the best tool for getting a handle on your gambling addiction?

A vice grip.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

Why was the girl stuck in the revolving door for two weeks?

Cuz she couldn't find the door handle

Why do the bald seem to handle life so much better than the rest?

They're always eager for more on their pate.

What has handles and flies?

A witch in a garbage can.

Why was the surfer such a bad cook?

All he could handle was the microwave

Why did the alcoholic quit his acting career when the audience jeered at him?

He couldn't handle his boos.

Who'll handle the Guantanamo closing?

Same guys who did Circuit City

Why is mild cheddar even a thing?

Who are these people who can't handle sharp cheddar & why are they allowed to influence the cheese market

How do you handle a redheads anger?

Gingerly.

When does a cup stop being a cup and start being a mug?

When it gets a handle on life.

Why didn't the drummer commit the crime?

He couldn't handle the repercussions.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

How do metal guitarists handle their expensive instruments?

Very Djently.

Why is your brother always flying off the handle?

Second Boy: Because he's got a screw loose!

How do you think we can better handle this in the future?

ME glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut: idk, maybe don't hire Cheryl

How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to handle the bulb and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

What do you call the fisherman that's always handling the pole while fishing?

The Master Baiter.

What happened to the ghost who couldn't scare?

He had to join a support group since he couldn't handle his boos.

How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to handle the bulb and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

You might also enjoy:

Shot Jokes More Shot Jokes

How do you play the Oscar Pistorius drinking game?

Every time your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, take two shots

Why did Steph Curry cross the road?

Because he wasnt far enough from the 3pt line to take the shot.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Saiyans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one... But it takes 4 episodes and Krillin dies...

How many Super Saiyans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGONBALL ZEEEEE! (I really hope this isn't a repost)

Supply Jokes More Supply Jokes

Why did I wear no jeans today?

My supply was short.

Where do electricians get supplies?

The Ohm Depot.

Complaint Jokes More Complaint Jokes

How would you handle a complaint from a customer?

Applicant: Well that depends, what's the complaint? Interviewer: He's complaining that his burger had onions on it, even though he specifically asked they were to be removed. Applicant: Well I'd start by telling him he's in the retail section.

El Paso Jokes More El Paso Jokes

Why is it called Justice League of America?

Do they follow territorial boundaries? If the Kaos Kommandos start a brawl in El Paso and it rolls over into Juarez, do they say "screw it, let Justice League of Mexico handle it"? (Sorry if this isn't technically a joke; it was my shower thought this morning and I thought it was funny.)

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why does frost not like to lay out in the sun?

It burns too easily

Why do they ask you if you would like paper or plastic at the grocery store?

Because baggers can't be choosers,

Applicant Jokes More Applicant Jokes

How many applicants does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but 200 applied for the job.

How many applicants does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but 200 applied for the job.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why doesn't anyone tell jokes about Jonestown?

The punchline is too long.

What do you call a camel with 3 humps?

Humphrey. (I was told this joke by an actual dad, it was his response to one of my jokes)