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Why is James Bond a terrible motivational speaker?

Because the audiences are shaken, not stirred.

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Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

What did the Pope say to the hot atheist girl?

Shake that blasphemy

What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?

A nervous wreck!

Stir Jokes More Stir Jokes

How does Liam Neeson like his martini?

Taken, not stirred.

Why did the horse stir his cereal with his hoof?

Because he wanted to feel his oats!

James Bond Jokes More James Bond Jokes

How does James Bond sleep?

Around.

Why did James Bond higher a man with Parkinson's to be his butler?

He likes his drinks shaken, not stirred.

Audience Jokes More Audience Jokes

What's the difference between a Blues musician and a Jazz musician?

A blues musician plays 3 chords to audiences of thousands. A jazz musician plays thousands of chords to audiences of 3

How did you travel such a distance so fast?

I went through a wormhole." Worms in the audience: Omg this is so unrealistic.