Why is James Bond a terrible motivational speaker?

Because the audiences are shaken, not stirred.

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Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

What does Taylor Swift tell her boyfriend when he gets toilet paper stuck on his arse?

Shake it off

What was shaken and is now stirred?

Haiti.

Stir Jokes More Stir Jokes

Why does James Bond like Michael J Fox?

Because he always gets his martini shaken, not stirred.

What was James Bond after he slept through an earthquake?

Shaken, not stirred.

James Bond Jokes More James Bond Jokes

Why does James Bond keep telling people his real name?

Worst. Spy. Ever.

What does James Bond say after a heavy workout?

I would like to have Whey. Shaken, not stirred.

Audience Jokes More Audience Jokes

Why did the alcoholic quit his acting career when the audience jeered at him?

He couldn't handle his boos.

Why is James Bond a terrible motivational speaker?

Because the audiences are shaken, not stirred.