Stir Jokes

Why does James Bond like Michael J Fox?

Because he always gets his martini shaken, not stirred.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

How does Liam Neeson like his martini?

Taken, not stirred.

What was James Bond after he slept through an earthquake?

Shaken, not stirred.

What does James Bond say after a heavy workout?

I would like to have Whey. Shaken, not stirred.

What's the hardest part of making monster soup?

Stirring it.

How do you stir up the politics in a Coca Cola drink?

You add ices.

Why is James Bond a terrible motivational speaker?

Because the audiences are shaken, not stirred.

What was shaken and is now stirred?

Haiti.

Why did the horse stir his cereal with his hoof?

Because he wanted to feel his oats!

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Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

Where does Sean Connery put his beard clippings?

His shavings account.

What is Sean Connery's favorite sport, and around what age did he start playing?

Tennish

Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

What's Shaking?

Not Ali....

What do you call a dance party in Colorado?

Shake 'n Bake.

Fry Pan Jokes More Fry Pan Jokes

What did the spaceman see in his frying pan?

An unidentified frying object.

What do you call an aardvark in a frying pan?

A lardvark!

Hard Jokes More Hard Jokes

What's the hardest part of cooking vegetables?

Their wheelchairs

What's the hardest part of making chicken fried steak?

Teaching the chicken to cook

Trap Jokes More Trap Jokes

What Metallica song does Captain America hate?

Trapped Under Ice.

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the evening and 6 legs at night?

I've trapped it in my bedroom, send help...

Politic Jokes More Politic Jokes

Why did Julius Caesar want to quit politics?

All that backstabbing was too much for him.

What do you call a parody when the actors are unaware it's satire?

Politics.

Hip Jokes More Hip Jokes

What music you into?

Date: I love hip hop Me: Yeah me too thinking of something to say to impress her Me: Soup Dogg is my cousin

How did the programmer celebrate his birthday?

Var celebration = "Hip", "Hip";

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How does a woman apologize to a man?

I'm sorry, but it's your fault.

What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?

They're married.