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Hard Jokes

What's the hardest part of cooking vegetables?

Their wheelchairs

Birthday State of Mind

Birthday State of Mind

What's the hardest part of making a vegan pizza?

Skinning the vegan.

What's the hardest part about making a manicure joke?

You really have to nail it

What's the hardest part about winning crossfit?

Being 5 foot 6

What's the hardest part of a vegetable?

The Wheelchair

What did Bruce Willis say to motivate his son?

Son, if at first you don't succeed, Try Hard. If that doesn't work, Try Hard 2. If that still doesn't work, Try Hard with a Vengeance. Remember, you can't pick between the choice to Live Free or Try Hard. They go together. Everyday's A Good Day to Try Hard.

What's the hardest part of skydiving?

The ground!

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It only takes two mice to screw in a light bulb. The hard part is getting them in there.

What's the hardest part about being a Vegan who does Crossfit and owns a Rescue dog?

Deciding which to tell people first.

What's the hardest part about cooking a vegetable?

Fitting the wheelchair in the oven.

What's the hardest part of a gardener's job?

Getting to the root of the problem.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

Your Age Is Only Math

What is the hardest part of twerking?

Being black

What's the hardest part of milking a mouse?

Getting it to fit over a bucket!

What is the hardest part of a vegetable?

The wheelchair. sorry

What's the hardest part about being a vegan?

Waking up at 5 am to milk the almonds.

What is the hardest part about your wife telling you she has AIDS?

Acting surprised.

Whats the hardest part of watching an Orphanage burn?

Not getting hard.

What's the hardest part of making monster soup?

Stirring it.

Whats the hardest part about cooking vegetable?

Getting the wheelchair in the oven.

What is the hardest part about sleeping with twenty one year olds?

There is twenty of them

What's the hardest part of golf for asians?

Driving

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What's the hardest part about working as a nurse or doctor at a women's hospital?

When you ask the patients "what's the problem " They'll say "nothing"

What's the hardest part to cook in a vegetable?

The wheelchair

What's the hardest part of making chicken fried steak?

Teaching the chicken to cook

What do you have on?

The man says, "I have a hard on but I didn't know you could smell it."

What's the hardest part of washing a vegetable?

Putting them back in the wheelchair

Whats the hardest part of cooking a potato?

Signing the legal guardian paperwork

What is the hardest part about sky diving?

The ground.

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Motivate Jokes More Motivate Jokes

What motivated Hercules to face off against Cerberus?

Alcmene triple-dog-dared him.

What does a Mexican carpet fitter say to motivate his colleagues?

Underlay! Underlay!

Vengeance Jokes More Vengeance Jokes

What did Bruce Willis say to motivate his son?

Son, if at first you don't succeed, Try Hard. If that doesn't work, Try Hard 2. If that still doesn't work, Try Hard with a Vengeance. Remember, you can't pick between the choice to Live Free or Try Hard. They go together. Everyday's A Good Day to Try Hard.

What do you call a supernatural goose riding a bike seeking vengeance?

Goose Rider

Calm Jokes More Calm Jokes

How do you calm down an astronaut?

You give him space.

Why are doctors always calm?

They have a lot of patients. Sorry.

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

Who'd win if Batman fought Santa?

Before u say Batman, just remember who's watching you answer.

How does a composer remember which groceries to buy?

She writes a Chopin Liszt.

Virgin Jokes More Virgin Jokes

Why was Jesus not born in West Virginia?

Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin. Gf sent me this when she was driving through the state.

Why is the story of the Mayan Sacrifice girl so sad?

Because she died a virgin!

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What are you thinking?

Because now I know and I am horrified.

Why do Americans get manuals when buying a new car?

I thought they only drive automatic

Right Leg Jokes More Right Leg Jokes

What do you call a cow with no right legs?

Lean beef.

What did the left leg say to the right leg?

That one in the middle thinks he's hard.

Boil Jokes More Boil Jokes

Why was the cook sad when all the water in his pot boiled away?

Because he mist it.

What did the egg say when it was about to be hard boiled?

It's gonna take a while to get me hard, because I just got laid by a chick!