Sean Connery Jokes

What is Sean Connery's favorite sport, and around what age did he start playing?

Tennish

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Where does Sean Connery keep his guns?

In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.

What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon?

Ten-ish.

How does Sean Connery shave?

Ctrl+esh

When did Sean Connery get to Wimbledon?

Tennish.

When does Sean Connery usually arrive at Wimbledon?

Tennish.

What did Sean Connery say to a couple of lobsters he saw take up an extra parking space?

You're two shellfish.

What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

Tennish

Where does Sean Connery sit?

In the toilet.

Why was Sean Connery accused of piracy while drinking tea?

He took a ship.

Why can't Sean Connery read November?

Because he hasn't Read October.

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What does Sean Connery do with his quiche?

He opensh hish doorsh with them.

What time does Sean Connery show up at Wimbledon every year?

About tennish.

What does a lonely Sean Connery building IKEA products say?

I guess its jusht me, myshelf, and I tonight.

What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon at?

Tennish.

What time does Sean Connery show up to wimbledon?

Tennish

What beer does Sean Connery drink?

Grols

What's Sean Connery's favorite sport and when does he play it?

Tennish

When does Sean Connery like to show up at Wimbeldon?

Tennish.

What happened when Sean Connery bought himself a little kitten?

The cat shat on the mat.

What does Sean Connery call a greedy oyster?

Shellfish.

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How does Sean Connery's dog bark?

Woofsh

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

What time did Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

Around Ten-ish.

What's the only type of seafood that Sean Connery won't share?

Shelfish

What does Sean Connery surf on the Internet?

Reddish.

How does Sean Connery find his way to the toilet?

With a shat nav.

Where does Sean Connery put his beard clippings?

His shavings account.

Why did everyone bring a quiche to Sean Connery's party?

It was leave your keys at the door.

Why does Sean Connery have no money and a beard?

Because he's no good at shaving.

Why isn't Sean Connery an unmarried roofer?

He's not a fan of the shingle life.

How does Sean Connery ask for Worchestershire sauce?

X-post from askreddit) Worsheshershershosh.

What time does Sean Connery leave to go to Wimbledon?

Tennish.

What is Sean Connery's favorite dish?

A seizure salad.

What did Sean Connery say when he noticed that there wasn't any electricity in the Pennsylvania countryside?

Shomething'sh Amish...

What time does Sean Connery attend the Wimbeldon?

Tenish.

When does Sean Connery enjoy playing his favorite sport?

Ten-ish.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more?

He kept trying to shave the princess.

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Why didn't Sean Connery get his roof fixed?

He said he "couldn't find a shingle person to do it."

How Does Sean Connery Wash His Dishes?

Like a Bosch!

What time does Sean Connery go to the US Open?

Tennish

What times does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon?

Tennish

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What did the farmer say when the police found the gate from the public footpath in his barn and accused him of stealing?

That's not my stile.

What did the cat say when it was wrongfully accused of a crime and sent behind bars?

Let Meowt!!!!

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What kind of tea do wealthy people own?

Proper-Tea

What kind of tea does water make?

Humiditea.

November Jokes More November Jokes

Why was Wycleff Jean on L&O this week?

He only promised to be gone until November

Why can't Sean Connery read November?

Because he hasn't Read October.

Tennish Jokes More Tennish Jokes

When does Sean Connery usually arrive at Wimbledon?

Tennish.

What time does Sean Connery leave to go to Wimbledon?

Tennish.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

How many seconds are in a year?

Only 12. One for every month.

How many Deadheads (Grateful Dead fans) does it take to change a lightbulb?

No one knows, they wait for it to burn out and follow it around for twenty years.

Wimbeldon Jokes More Wimbeldon Jokes

What time does Sean Connery attend the Wimbeldon?

Tenish.

When does Sean Connery like to show up at Wimbeldon?

Tennish.

Tonight Jokes More Tonight Jokes

Who's there! Chile! Chile who?

Chile out tonight!

Who is going to win tonight's presidential election?

The Voyager Probe, speeding away from Earth at 38,000 mph.

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When does Sean Connery usually arrive at Wimbledon?

Tennish.

What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon?

Ten-ish.