Sean Connery Jokes

What is Sean Connery's favorite sport, and around what age did he start playing?

Tennish

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Where does Sean Connery keep his guns?

In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.

What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon?

Ten-ish.

How does Sean Connery shave?

Ctrl+esh

When did Sean Connery get to Wimbledon?

Tennish.

When does Sean Connery usually arrive at Wimbledon?

Tennish.

What did Sean Connery say to a couple of lobsters he saw take up an extra parking space?

You're two shellfish.

What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

Tennish

Where does Sean Connery sit?

In the toilet.

Why was Sean Connery accused of piracy while drinking tea?

He took a ship.

Why can't Sean Connery read November?

Because he hasn't Read October.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What does Sean Connery do with his quiche?

He opensh hish doorsh with them.

What time does Sean Connery show up at Wimbledon every year?

About tennish.

What does a lonely Sean Connery building IKEA products say?

I guess its jusht me, myshelf, and I tonight.

What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon at?

Tennish.

What time does Sean Connery show up to wimbledon?

Tennish

What beer does Sean Connery drink?

Grols

What's Sean Connery's favorite sport and when does he play it?

Tennish

When does Sean Connery like to show up at Wimbeldon?

Tennish.

What happened when Sean Connery bought himself a little kitten?

The cat shat on the mat.

What does Sean Connery call a greedy oyster?

Shellfish.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

How does Sean Connery's dog bark?

Woofsh

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

What time did Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

Around Ten-ish.

What's the only type of seafood that Sean Connery won't share?

Shelfish

What does Sean Connery surf on the Internet?

Reddish.

How does Sean Connery find his way to the toilet?

With a shat nav.

Where does Sean Connery put his beard clippings?

His shavings account.

Why did everyone bring a quiche to Sean Connery's party?

It was leave your keys at the door.

Why does Sean Connery have no money and a beard?

Because he's no good at shaving.

Why isn't Sean Connery an unmarried roofer?

He's not a fan of the shingle life.

How does Sean Connery ask for Worchestershire sauce?

X-post from askreddit) Worsheshershershosh.

What time does Sean Connery leave to go to Wimbledon?

Tennish.

What is Sean Connery's favorite dish?

A seizure salad.

What did Sean Connery say when he noticed that there wasn't any electricity in the Pennsylvania countryside?

Shomething'sh Amish...

What time does Sean Connery attend the Wimbeldon?

Tenish.

When does Sean Connery enjoy playing his favorite sport?

Ten-ish.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more?

He kept trying to shave the princess.

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Why didn't Sean Connery get his roof fixed?

He said he "couldn't find a shingle person to do it."

How Does Sean Connery Wash His Dishes?

Like a Bosch!

What time does Sean Connery go to the US Open?

Tennish

What times does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon?

Tennish

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How do you know when someone's read the Game of Thrones books?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Why do old people read the Bible so much?

I asked my grandad the other day "why do old people read the Bible so much?" He replied "cause we're cramming for finals"

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

How was the movie?

Brian: A real turkey. I could hardly sit through it the second time!

Who doesn't like to sit in front of the fire?

A Snowman.

Quiche Jokes More Quiche Jokes

Why did everyone bring a quiche to Sean Connery's party?

It was leave your keys at the door.

What does Sean Connery do with his quiche?

He opensh hish doorsh with them.

Ship Jokes More Ship Jokes

Why are camels also known as Ships Of The Desert'?

Because they're full of Arab seamen.....

What saved the ship?

Flambuoyancy

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

How many auditors does it take to change a light bulb?

How many did it take last year

What do you call a man who has been dead and buried for thousands of years?

Pete.

Accuse Jokes More Accuse Jokes

Why was the driver fired from the destruction derby?

He was accused of wreckless driving.

What did the Roman say when the Greek accused him of stealing his gods?

It was all a myth-take!

Course Jokes More Course Jokes

Why did the music industry talent scout take a course in game programming?

He thought it would help him with his hit detection.

What do The Police do to catch criminals easily?

Sting operation, of course!

Guess Jokes More Guess Jokes

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing! They just WAVED. SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Let MINNOW if you are not getting it. SHELL I continue?? No?.. I guess I'll stop WHALE I'm ahead. Thanks ladies and gentlefish

Why ya going to the airport?

Flying Somewhere?": "How'd you guess?": "Well, I saw your luggage, then when I saw the airplane ticket I put two and two together. So where you headed?": "Aspen.": "Mmm, California.. Beautiful."