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What does Sean Connery call a greedy oyster?

Shellfish.

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Why does Sean Connery have no money and a beard?

Because he's no good at shaving.

How Does Sean Connery Wash His Dishes?

Like a Bosch!

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What kind of cars do shellfish drive?

Mussel cars.

What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?

A crab apple!