What does Sean Connery call a greedy oyster?

Shellfish.

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What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

What's Sean Connery's favorite sport and when does he play it?

Tennish

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How did the shellfish win the underwater beauty pageant?

Using saxitoxin.

Why did the marriage between the crab and the shrimp end in a divorce?

Because they were both too Shellfish.