What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why didn't the girl ride her bike to go water the neighborhood flower bed like usual?

Because the pedals fell off.

What did the Mexican gang member say when two large houses fell on him during an earthquake?

Get off me, homes.

Shelf Jokes More Shelf Jokes

Where did the spoiled milk sit?

On the top shelf. Where did the chocolate milk sit In the back.

What do you call a short priest reaching for his Bible that's on the top shelf?

Christina Ricci.

Blame Jokes More Blame Jokes

Why is the dog man's best friend?

He has to have someone to blame the farts on.

Who's to blame?

The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)

Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

What time does Sean Connery show up to wimbledon?

Tennish

Where does Sean Connery keep his guns?

In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Why was the deaf man sighing and shaking his head in disgust when he looked over at his next door neighbour?

Because she was *airing her dirty laundry*!!!

How do we know Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head & Shoulders under the steering wheel!

Book Jokes More Book Jokes

What do books wear on a rainy day?

Rain Quotes

Why are libraries so strict?

Because they have to go by the book.